The Girl Eywa Keeps Alive (Neteyam x Reader)

Family

Two weeks later:

I was sitting in the hut alone singing to myself picturing Neteyam and I running through the woods together as I finished the Necklace I was making for Tuk back in the forest.

I had forgotten I had started making it due to everything that was happening.

As I made the necklace I began to think about if Jake and Neytiri truly did think of me as a daughter to them or an orphaned widow. Making the necklace only made me think about it more since obviously Tuk is their kid.

Does anyone truly want me here anymore? Am I just a reminder Neteyam is gone if they don't think of me as a daughter? I know I was needed for the war but if it wasn't for that would anyone even be around me? Do I even belong here anymore? Everyone around me dies. Maybe I shouldn't of came back with them. I'm not even strong enough to hold myself together.

As these thoughts filled my head just wanting Neteyam to be by my side, I felt tears coming to my eyes again and felt myself getting overwhelmed.

I let the tears fall as I was making the necklace which made my vision blurry. I was trying to thread a certain piece that wasn't buging and started to get really upset with the necklace. I pulled the thread back through and broke it.

I lightly screamed to myself and tossed the necklace across the hut and just started crying holding myself in a ball.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jake said coming into the hut to my side.

He placed his hand on my side and smoothing out my hair with his other hand, "What's going on," he said.

"I just can't anymore, every day that passes, I hurt more and more, I have new worries and thoughts I didn't before," I said sitting up still crying, "I am lost,"

"What are you thinking about," Jake asked.

"I don't even want to say it because it's just stupid," I said with my hands on my face wiping my tears.

"How you feel isn't stupid," Jake said placing his hand on my head.

"I shouldn't be here, everyone around me dies, I bring death," I said looking at him.

"No you don't, it is not you who brings death," Jake said smiling trying to make me feel better.

"I do, I couldn't even keep my child alive or my mate," I said to him my lip quivering, "I'm probably just a reminder Neteyams gone anyways," I said to him with tears still streaming down my face.

"You are not at fault for that y/n," he said sincerely.

"I know, but I don't know you know?" I asked retorically. "And I mean, the whole reason I am in your guys lives is because Neteyam wanted me here," I said.

"Oh y/n," he whispered.

"And Neteyam's gone now, Am I even wanted here still? I know I was needed for the war but now I'm not needed so maybe there is no reason for me to be around anymore," I said upset.

"Y/n-"

"And I mean, I know you guys didn't raise me so I know I'm not your daughter and I'll never be it so if you don't want me here I will disapear," I took a breath, "I want to still be apart of this family, but maybe you guys don't-"

Jake cut me off, "Of course you're our daughter," Jake said and I just looked at him, "You're their sister, and you do belong here, don't try to think other wise, we want you here because you are our family,"

"If you don't believe it please don't say it don't spare my feelings," I said.

"Y/n, I do mean it," he said

"Still? Even after-"

"Yes Y/n, even though he is gone, you are still a Sully, and we love you," he said pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry," I cried into his shoulder. "I don't know what to do,"

"You won't y/n," he said still hugging me.

"I still don't feel like I should be here, I wish I could switch places," I said which caused Jake to pull away looking at me with his ears back and a sad look on my his face.

"Oh y/n" He said.

"I don't want to be here without him, he was my person and he's gone, I just wish it was me not him," I said trying to get Jake to understand what I meant.

"Baby girl, I know it's hard but you have to, Neteyam didn't save you just for you to give up," Jake said with tears in his eyes.

"I dont know," I said looking down and hugging him again and he held onto me as I cried.

Later that night Jakes POV:

I was sitting in me and Neytiri's hut sharpening my knife staying quiet.

"What is wrong," She asked sitting by me.

"It's y/n, I'm really worried about her," I said facing her with tears in my eyes. "We know she's been distant and singing to herself a lot but, This is huritng her more than we thought,"

"What do you mean?" Neytiri asked me placing a hand on my shoulder.

"She didn't think we wanted her around anymore because she thinks we see her as a reminder, because that's how she views herself," I said.

Neytiri looked out the door and back to me sad y/n felt that way.

"She didn't think she was still part of our family and if we thought of her as a daughter," I said looking back to my knife.

"Oh Eywa, you told her we do see her as a duaghter right?" she asked me.

"I did, but I don't think she believed me, but that's not the worst," I paused, "She doesn't want to live without Neteyam," I said looking back to her hurt.

Neytiri had a scared look on her face with tears in her eyes perking her ears back.

I saw the other kids listening in on our converstation and called them in. It was only Kiri and Lo'ak and Tsireya that walked in.

"Y/n doesn't think she's part of the family?" Lo'ak asked.

"She thinks that we only needed her for the war and the only reason she was around was because Neteyam wanted her," I said to them as they sat down.

"But now that he's gone she feels lost and like she doesn't belong," Kiri said finishing my sentence.

"Exaclty," I said.

"She doesn't want to be alive?" Tsireya asked concerned.

"I think it's just her not wanting to be here without Neteyam, she doesn't know what to do without him, she found her life in him," I said to everyone.

"Why hasn't she connected to Eywa to see him?" Lo'ak asked.

"Because if she does it will confirm he's gone and that's why she is having a hard time letting go," neytiri said.