Taken In

Thank You

"I feel like shit, Keanu."
My throat was mending. It still sounded like I smoked two packs a day, and it didn't hurt except when I was throwing up.
Which was happening often.
I was constantly overheated, all the nurses and doctors said it was a normal bodily response to frostbite, but Keanu knew.
"You're going to. And it's probably going to get worse." He responded frankly, but not unkindly.
He never had an unkind tone in his voice, no matter how direct his words could be.
They'd taken me off the morphine too, which didn't help my state at all. Everything was a blur, and awfully clear and sharp at the same time. I couldn't stomach food or water, all my nutrients fed into me by a plastic tube and IV.
"Please don't make me stay in a hospital for this. You said yourself that I was recovering well. Look, I promise I'll come straight back to the hospital after I get this out of my system and then..."
"That's out of the question. Cheri,"
He had been pacing, but now he sat in the chair next to my bed and looked at me seriously with his hands on his knees.
"I can't trust you out there. Not to mention the fact that you're supposed to be dead, when,"
He emphasised the word when.
"When, you go to a dealer to "get it out of your system", they'll find you. Besides, you can't even walk."
"Keanu, I promise I won't use, just let me..."
"No! Cheri!" He barked the words, and my whole body recoiled in a fearful spasm.
It was the withdrawals, making me super sensitive to every little thing around me, and his sudden voice and movement shook me to my core.
I couldn't look at him as I curled up in the bed, but I heard him stand, clattering the chair as he did.
"...Cheri, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."
I interrupted him by throwing up into one of the now readily prepared bowls on the bedside table, recoiled again in a fit of coughing.
"It's okay, Keanu...sorry...really, I'm just jumpy. And I'm tired." My words felt flat, and I couldn't muster the energy to explain myself.
I wanted to hide.
"...just...please, don't make me stay in a hospital. I'll go to a shelter, or one of those religious places. Anywhere but a hospital." I pleaded.
The sterile lights, the new strangers everyday who looked at me with such distain, the hospital gowns, it was all too much for me. I felt like I could crack at any moment, and I needed to get out.
"Besides, it's not good for me to be around all these drugs." I added with a weak and empty smile.
Keanu wasn't looking at me, he was still standing staring at the floor, his arms folded and shaking his head softly. He did, however, smile at my last remark.
I could see him thinking, and I didn't want to say anything else that might tip him over the edge.
"You're not going to a shelter, Cheri."
He looked at me then. It could've been my delirium, god knows my vision was blurring, but his eyes looked misted all of a sudden.
"You're not going to a shelter, or anywhere like that. Would you..." he faltered slightly.
"...would you, be comfortable taking the spare room in my apartment? Until you've got all this out of your system."
I couldn't say anything, just blinked at him and tried to keep my shivers under control.
Despite everything, I still didn't trust Keanu. I couldn't bring myself to believe...him. I still didn't understand why he was so determined to save my life, while all I wanted to do was end it. He looked at me with such intensity sometimes that I felt like I wanted to hide like from every other man's gaze. His was a different kind of look, but I still couldn't bring myself to trust him.
At this stage though, I wasn't sure if I had much choice.
"You don't have to decide right away..."
"Would you really have me in your home, Keanu?" I breathed, the words more strained than I'd expected.
He looked and me, nodded slowly.
"Are you going to trust me?" He asked softly.
I couldn't look at him. I was sweating buckets, and even though the bandages were only on my hands and feet now, they were drenched.
"Keanu...I can't promise that I'll trust you completely...I'm.." I trailed off, trying to get my thoughts together.
"Our lives are very different. But I promise...I won't take this for granted."
I locked eyes with him then.
"I want to get out of this. And I thank you for your help."

*KEANU POV*

It broke my heart, to leave her in the hospital after that. But I had things to do. I clocked out at 9pm, and started my commute.
My spare room, was a mess. It used to be a recording room, for the music I would play. There was thousands of dollars worth of musical instruments and equipment in there. I didn't play anymore. It was a resting ground of everything that reminded me of Lauren.
After she died, I kept everything as it was for nearly 2 years. I didn't move a picture frame, bathroom item, even her clothes I just left. I barely cleaned.
Then all of a sudden, I packed everything in boxes, and locked the spare room up like a tomb. I had to go sort all of that out, and make a room suitable for a withdrawal episode.
On the way home I bought a single bottle of beer from a kiosk, and a pack of cigarettes. When I got home, I rolled up my sleeves, drank the beer, and smoked the first cigarette just staring at the door. The key jangled uncomfortably in my hand, the weight of it almost too heavy to hold.
Then I lit the second cigarette, and set to work.

I didn't lift my head until my alarm went off at 5am, and I had to get ready for work. The room was cleared, enough.
There was a hospital bed set up already, and I tried not to picture her lying there, fragile and weak as Cheri. There was a desk, and a few guitars that I still had to move out to my own room, everything was in boxes and in the loft, safe and treasured.
When I got to the hospital, Cheri was awake, and not in a good way.
I knew she hadn't slept in days. Her eyes were dull and pained, and although the frostbite burns had receded mostly, her face was dark and grey. She was lying in the fetal position, back to me, throwing up into a bowl when I walked in. Her spine stuck out like a razor through the hospital gown, and I said nothing as I handed her a tissue.
"I got the room sorted."
I didn't need to bother with pleasantries, or ask her how she was feeling. She needed out.
"Really? You did it all last night?" She asked, sounding hopeful.
I nodded.
"I need to work this shift today, I finish up early. I've arranged for a car to pick us up at 5, hang on 'til then."
She smiled, a weakened but heartfelt smile.
"Thank you, Keanu."
She was shivering, and her whole body looked dampened.
"I'll get some nurses in to change the dressings, if you want they can wash your hair before we go?"
"Uh...I don't think I want to get my hair washed...I might throw up on them." She said through gritted teeth, winding herself tighter.
"That's okay, Cheri, it's going to be okay. I promise."
I knelt beside the bed, and ever so slowly, placed my hand on the very edge of the mattress.
"You're gonna get through this, you'll be on the other side of it soon, I promise."
She went paler, if that was possible, and a flurry of silent tears fell to the pillow.
"thank you." She almost whispered.

*A/N: hey guys, please let me know if you're enjoying this, any feedback back is welcome!*