Blackbird

Chapter 17: Hogsmeade

I knew it was too late to back out now, Veronica had already reminded me a thousand times. But still, I couldn't help but feel unprepared. James had loaned me a big soft jumper for the occasion. It was a warm brown color, and based on the wear, I wouldn't have been surprised if the original owner had been Remus. I couldn't fully commit to the casual look, so I still kept a collared uniform shirt on underneath the jumper.

The muggle jeans felt odd. I wore stockings and leggings from time to time under my skirts, but the material was rougher than any sort of trousers I'd ever felt. Still, they fit well and looked good with the cute brown ankle boots I'd picked out.

I had allowed Minette to pull my hair up into a messy bun that she seemed to have perfected. Paired with a softer makeup look, I looked like a normal teenage girl preparing to go on a date. What a terrifying thought.

"Won't her ears freeze off?" Willow seemed bored compared to Minette and Veronica.

"Alas, the price one must pay to look good." Minette sighed dramatically, hunting for a jacket she insisted would look perfect with my outfit, while Veronica tested a golden necklace with a heating charm cast on it.

"Plus, it'll keep her hair from getting all ratty while out in the wind."

I put on both the necklace and the jacket. Both the jumper and jacket were a little big. I felt as though I looked ridiculous, and I certainly did not want to go out in public feeling this unsure about myself. Veronica didn't give me any chance to back out, pushing my out the door as soon as I had the necklace clasped around my neck.

"Have fun blackbird!"

"Make good choices!"

Sometimes having friends did not seem as cracked up as everyone thought it to be.

It's fine, I've got this.

...I probably look ridiculous

And with that comforting thought I was off and out the common room to meet James, strangely nervous. For one of  the best days of my life, of course. Nothing else.

James POV:

"You look amazing." The words were out of my mouth before I had even thought about them, though I didn't intend to take them back. It was true.

Aquila rubbed her arm, looking off to the side. Outside her normal bold and dark colors, she seemed so much...softer. More vulnerable. The jeans fit her slim figure perfectly, and the old jumper I got from Mum a couple of Christmas's ago was baggy enough that it made her look even smaller than normal.

"Not that you don't always look amazing." I felt the need to correct myself. She wasn't always confident, but I'd never seen her so transparently self-aware before. This was delicate and new.

Part of me wished I could tell her that she could change if she wanted. Into something she was more familiar with. But she stood out too much in her normal clothes, and they'd likely be too cold to go out in.

Aquila shifted her weight from one foot to the other, still looking uncomfortable and oddly exposed. "How are we getting to Hogsmeade? And where are the other boys?"

It was my turn to be uncomfortable, dragging a hand through my already mussed hair. "They already had plans. Dates and whatnot I think."

Normally she wouldn't have bought it. Narrowing her eyes at me and responding sarcastically about how she obviously believed me. I guess she was thrown off balance more than I thought, because she simply nodded and waited for me to show the way.

It was disconcerting, but I forced a smile anyway. "Come on, it's this way."

                            ~ 💫 ~

I was trying not to panic.

Our trip was going so well. Aquila had found absolutely everything fascinating. I was right about the Butterbeer, she couldn't finish it, saying she could feel the sugar hitting her brain by the time she'd drank a third of her glass. It seemed like a waste, so I'd rushed to finish it before leading her to Zonko's.

I admit, I might have gotten a bit carried away in the store, now several sickles poorer than I was when I walked in. I'd had to be fast though, since Aquila seemed to find all the color and noise fairly overwhelming. She hadn't said anything, but every muscle of her body seemed tense, and her eyes kept darting around as if to see everything at once.

I'd wanted to go to Honeydukes next, but Aquila had seen Tomes and Scrolls and headed right for it. And somehow, I had lost her.

"I swear, she must love books more than a Ravenclaw." Trying to keep from freaking out, I muttered to myself under my breath while glancing through the shelves.

"Who?"

Shocked, I spun around quickly. And good Godric, it was like my vision tunneled for a second, and all I could see was her.

"Evans." Trying to cover up my surprise and embarrassment, I cleared my throat uncomfortably. "Fancy seeing you here."

She simply raised an eyebrow, as if asking where else I thought she would be. Of course, as she was a bookworm and something of a model student, I shouldn't have been surprised to see her here.

"Mhm. Are you sure you're not following me around?"

I scrambled for a defense, while trying not to let her looks stun me to stupidity. Because she truly looked stunning. I could still see the snow melting in her bright hair, brilliant green eyes studying me in a way that threatened to rob me of my breath. In a simple outfit bereft of jewelry and makeup, she seemed to me the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen.

And yet, I couldn't help but feel hurt. Did she genuinely think I'd followed her all the way out here? Sure on previous trips if me or the boys spotted her I  would always go out of my way to make her aware of my presence, but I'd never outright stalked her. ...at least, not outside of Hogwarts.

There was a bit of rustling to my left, but I ignored it, still struggling too come up with words that would get me out of the situation without looking any more pathetic than Lily clearly already thought I was.

"James?"