ATYCHIPHOBIA¹ | p.jackson

PRELUDE.

NICASIA WAS ONLY A CHILD when the heavy weight of a warrior's armor was dropped on her shoulders. the weight of being the gods' future head soldier, or in her opinion, the gods' new playtoy.

the way she grew up was far from normal. she never experienced the comfort of home. to her, her home was actually the opposite of comforting. her home was a place where she was judged and changed. it wasn't like there was a big change to make it this way either, it had always been that way.

her father was a complicated man. he was smart and understanding, but it seemed that he was smart and understanding about everything but his daughter and her emotions. the only emotions nicasia thought he understood was anger and disappointment, the usual emotions he exhibited towards her. the other emotion she knew he understood was glory, that was how he ended up with her after all.

she also thought that he was complicated because he was harsh, angry, and above all things, strict, but he was also loving. —or at least he was a few times. that confused her. he confused her. she was confused about how he could go from looking at her with the only thing she could describe as hate, to comforting her. it confused her that the person who knocked her down was always the one to pick her up off the ground, just to do it over and over again.

she didn't hate her father either though. her father had made her everything she was, even though she hated every second of it. he made her strong, durable. he taught her nearly everything she knew. he taught her how to kill monsters. he taught her where to stab to make someone bleed out in minutes. he taught her how to take care of her wounds herself. he taught her that no matter how much you are hurting, you always keep fighting until you are successful. he taught her that all her pain only made her stronger. he raised her a warrior.

she also didn't hate him because she knew that her father could have been a lot worse, but he wasn't. he could have hit her or screamed at her. it would have been a lot easier if he would have screamed at her, anything was better than watching him just look at her with disappointment and rage.

anyway, she wasn't raised in a normal way. other kids grew up scared, hiding from the monsters under their beds. nicasia grew up fighting hers face to face. of course there weren't actual monsters under those kids' beds, but the monsters nicasia was fighting were definitely real.

she was six when her father made her fight her first monster. it was a minotaur. her soccer game had ended and she wanted to run around a little bit more after everyone left. then the minotaur showed up.

she was incredibly scared, like every six year old would be. her father sat back and watched. he only said one word to her before she fought the minotaur: "fight".  so she did. she grabbed the war medal that was always in her pocket for reasons she didn't know and used it, just like her father had told her before.

she fought and she fell down many, many times. after the third time, she told her father that she couldn't do it. "get up! don't stop fighting until it's dead! c'mon ace, you can do it, so get it done!" he shouted at her over the minotaur's loud growls. she could see the disappointment in his eyes from where she stood. so, she did what he said again.

by the time she had killed the minotaur, she had tears streaming down her face. her knees were scraped and bruised, and she had a shallow cut on her arm. she held the cut on her arm as she cried. her father came over to her and picked her up from the ground. he set her up on her feet. he gently grabbed her shoulder as he led her back to the car.

the drive back was a quiet one. the only sounds were nicasia's sniffles and her father's voice as he talked on the phone. her father poured her some nectar and handed it to her as he talked. she drank it, unfamiliar to the slight burning feeling of the nectar. her father moved his phone away from his face for a second. "quit crying. crying's for losers, ace. and you are no loser. your a winner. act like it." he said rather harshly as he looked at her through the rear view mirror. nicasia quieted her sniffles as he went back to talking on the phone.

once they got home, her father ended his phone call and brought her into their kitchen. he picked her up and sat her on the counter. he grabbed the first aid kit and handed her bandages. she helped him bandage her knees and clean the cut on her arm. "i knew you could do it ace." her father said, pausing his movements to look at her. nicasia wiped away the last of her tears. "pain only makes us stronger, remember?" he asked her. nicasia nodded.

"why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed? i'll tell you another story." he said, knowing how much she loved his stories. nicasia nodded with a teary eyed smile before going upstairs.

nicasia fought another monster when she was seven. then another when she was eight. the monsters kept coming. the minotaur might have been her first monster, but it definitely wouldn't be the last.

captain speaks!

sorry for things being out of order.

i might do some rewriting on previous parts just because i feel like my writing has changed. maybe it didn't and im just delusional but anyways, there is a chance for some rewriting.

thoughts? questions? something you just wanna say?