CHAPTER 10
"It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too." ~H.W. Shaw
The next five days passed in a similar fashion. Each morning, she found herself dreading the evening ahead, trying hard to push the thought away.
To distract herself, she often gazed out the window, watching the patterns of the grass outside. Some areas seemed softer, allowing little patches of green to sprout up like weeds.
She ate her meals, forced by compulsions, and bathed ritualistically, sometimes three times a day, trying to feel clean.
Then, as the clock approached five, she'd tense up, knowing what was coming.
Minutes before Məhv Edən arrived, she positioned herself on the bed, her legs spread wide and her gaze fixed elsewhere.
She never looked at him as he came to a halt behind her, did his thing, and left without a word.
To keep her mind off the ordeal, she often thought of the boy from her dream.
With his sparkling green eyes and fiery red hair, he was the person she longed to hold. She pictured herself in the serene garden she had seen, basking in the warmth of the sunlight and feeling the gentle breeze brush against her skin.
Sometimes, she imagined herself floating above, looking down on the scene below as if she were a bird. It was a way to escape from the reality of the man and woman in the room, who felt like complete strangers to her.
After Məhv Edən left, she hurried to the bathroom for a long bath, scrubbing away aggressively at her inner thighs.
She desperately avoided thinking about it, trying to distance her mind from her body. She pushed the thoughts aside as best as she could, knowing there was nothing she could do to change what was happening.
She attempted to bury the awful feeling deep within her mind and concentrate on anything else.
The morning after the seventh day, she felt like crying with relief, as if she had finally escaped the clutches of a beast.
It's over, for now.
She would not have to see him until next month. She could finally breathe freely without looking repeatedly at the clock, as if she had a crick in her neck.
The terrible feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach subsided slightly. But then she remembered she could be pregnant.
Her breath faltered, and she felt nauseous. She did not want to be pregnant, least of all with Məhv Edən.
He was the man she hated the most in the world-the man she would kill if she had a chance and the power to do so.
The thought of being pregnant with his child made her feel hysterical. But she felt powerless to stop it; she couldn't make herself infertile, at least not without magic.
If I become pregnant, which I might already be, at least I won't have to face him anymore.
Weighing the pros and cons of both evils, she concluded that she still did not want to get pregnant and condemn an innocent life to slavery before it came to this horrible world.
She no longer felt the overwhelming sense of dread when he raped her. The fear and hysteria were still there. But the choker had scorched them away, leaving only faintly glowing embers that were slowly fading.
She stayed in the required position, obedient and compliant, until she was let go.
Məhv Edən kept his distance from her during The Week, even as he assaulted her. He only touched her where necessary, as if the ordeal was not traumatic for her alone but for both parties.
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WHISPERED SINS 👑❤️🔥
العاطفية"I used your blood to bind you to me. There's no escape. You're chained to me until your last breath." She hated him so much that she wanted to poison him, rip the mask off his cruel face, and stare into his eyes as she plunged the dagger repeatedly...
