Yours insanely

15.Muddle

"Maybe I should not spend too much on fast food this week," a voice beside you said as five of you stood in the alleyway near the convenience store.

It was your break and you had all just been paid for the last month.

"You say that every week, Karan," another one of your co-workers said.

You just stood there without including yourself in the conversation, checking the amount of money in the cover.

There was more than what was supposed to be your salary, nearly half the amount. Who makes such a blunder?

Sighing, you just excused yourself from the place, walking inside the store again to your manager's cabin.

You knocked at his door, waiting until you heard a faint 'come in' before opening it.

"Y/n," the middle aged man smiled in recognition. "Please, come inside."

You walked inside, the cover with the money still in your hands.

"There's extra money in the cover, I don't know how. I came here to return it," you said and watched him get up from his chair on the other side of the table.

"I know, Y/n. It was not a mistake," he said, walking around the table.

You stepped back instinctively when he finally stood in front of you.

"I've noticed that you've been keeping to yourself all this time," your manager started with another step forward and you walked back again. "The others told me you live alone. Maybe if you're short of money, we could talk about some adjustments."

You knew what he meant by that and for a moment, you just froze, your stomach churning.

There was this look on his face that you didn't like one bit.

Your fingers trembled a little, temporarily losing their sense of touch until you raised your hand and slapped him in the face.

Slamming the extra amount on the table, you walked out, glaring at his stunned face.

You walked out quickly, leaning against the billing counter as you tried to process what just happened.

Your breathing was uneven, palm sweating as you tried to calm down, trying to take in your surroundings, your thoughts in disarray.

When you finally did, you ripped your batch off your t-shirt before placing it on the counter.

You walked away to the small break room, grabbing your backpack and placing the cover with the exact amount of what you worked for legitimately inside.

When you reached the entrance, there was an eighteen year old rookie standing beside.

While all the others were happily chatting away after being paid, he isolated himself. You recognized the look on his face.

"Did he talk to you about adjustments too, Abhi?" You asked and he looked at you before nodding slowly. You heaved another deep breath before you spoke up again. "Come with me."

-

"We will investigate the offense, ma'am," the person on the chair said as you handed in the complaint. "He will be taken care of."

You nodded as he said that, getting up from the chair and Abhi did too, the two of you then walking out the police station together.

"Will you go back there again?" He asked and you shook your head as a no.

"Not until he is held accountable," you answered and he nodded.

"I want to go home now," Abhi said and you nodded this time. "We'll get through this."

"We will," you said quietly. You both needed to hear that.

You watched as he left with a small smile towards you, before turning towards the other way to the diner. You'll have lunch, and then you will leave for the café.

Time skip~

"Hey," you smiled a little as you finally walked to Shubman.

"How was my beautiful angel's day?" He asked with a playful smile, expecting you to hit his arm.

"It was fine," you said without looking at him.

"Fine?" He asked and you shrugged before looking at him again.

"Walk with me," you said before he could say anything further.

You stayed silent, observing your surroundings aimlessly all the time you both walked to your home and muddled, trying to distract yourself ineffectively.

Shubman kept looking at you but you'd pretend as if you didn't notice.

"Was the day really fine?" He asked and you looked at him before nodding rather too quickly. "Okay," he mumbled, stopping in front of your house.

"Bye," you smiled before turning around and walking inside your house without looking back.

He knew something was wrong.

A/n

I wanted to do this chapter because it is not just something that happens only in fiction, it happens to people anywhere. I wrote this because I wish I could've done the same for myself. It took me more than three years to even understand what had happened. I didn't know how to reach out for anyone. I chose the title 'Muddle' because that's how I felt; confused. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, I was ten. I struggled with myself and no one around me could explain the sudden change in my behavior, the tantrums, what suddenly caused me to change. Now that I look back, I try to think if it has something to do with that incident. I finally opened up about it to my sister and mother when I was 15, after my self-harm scars were discovered too. But I finally managed to get out of it, with my closest friends near me, and I've been clean for nearly eight months now. It is not easy to get over it. Seven years later, it still haunts me. But know that there are people out there who you can trust, who love you, and will always be there for you. I wanted to share this here because it is the only place where I never felt judged and these are the words I wanted to hear for myself. Often, we might feel helpless, and feel that we should've stood up for ourselves. Please remember, it is not our fault. There are people who care for us. Talk to them. We are strong and we will get through this.