My Corner of the World - an introvert's approach on life

|9| How to love Spring

25th of March 2024

Spring feels different this year.

I have never been excited for spring, despised it even, but this year it feels unfamiliarly good; Like the spark of my soul is resurfacing. I experience tiny moments of true happiness, which I haven't in years. The warm sun on my skin, the clear air, the light blue sky, the blooming, colourful flowers. I can see the beauty in it all. And even after some bad days, I can still recognise this beauty again and again afterwards. No endless downward spiral; The spark always comes back, and it's such an unexpected and strange thing.

I was so used to this darkness creeping up on me and pulling me down, that now I sometimes even wish it back. But of course I know that the darkness is like a lifelong but simultaneously toxic friend. You don't want that friend to leave you, because he's been there from the beginning; he's been all the friendship you knew all your life. But after a while you realise that you deserve better, so you let him go for good. Maybe sometimes he comes to visit, then you think how life was better when he was around, but you have to let him go again, and not get pulled back into the old cycle.

I know I said I'd never be so cliché, but now I wear cute dresses, skirts, pastel colours, I run through fields if I want to (not with a dress though, I would trip and then the dress would be ruined and I'd probably have broken some bones), dance if I feel like it. Oh dear, is this was spring is about? Reinventing who you thought you were? Is this what life feels like? Seeing the little joys of life even though you know that you've still got a lot to work through?

However that may be, I am currently preparing small Easter presents for my family. I have never really done this before, to be honest. But this year I feel like really making an effort, to give some of the happiness back to the people who always cheered me up. I put all my trust in the 'surprise factor' of me creating a little something for Easter, because none of them is going to expect me doing this. I hope they like it.

Anyhow, I can't wait to love Spring all over again next year.