Wander

Elle

I met Elle just about 2 weeks ago. She's 10 years younger than me. She came after the whole thing, which felt like a coincidence. She's been trying to keep me sane, nice try. Not helping. But thanks anyways. She's been acting like my mother, she'd be a great one if her dumbfvck boyfriend didn't find someone else.

I tell her everything. I don't know why. Maybe it's easier telling a stranger than someone closer. I didn't ask much about her. Other than where she lived and how old she was. She hasn't asked anything about me, except, how I was doing, from time to time. She's not always there. But her motherly love makes up for it when she is. I guess she's busy with her job, whatever it is. I should probably ask her.

At some point, one of my friends called her my saviour, of course I told them about her. I wouldn't want to suddenly lose connection to the world and it'd be because of a 26 year old who I barely knew.

Elle is kinda weird. She posts inspirational quotes and tells me im too young to give up but sometimes she admits, she herself is hanging by a thread. She tells me im like that bit of string that's holding her together, and that she's glad she's found me, something for her to protect.

Elle tries to make me do stuff. Like tell people the truth, try to convince me that they'd get hurt either way. I believe her. Of course I do. Because I know. I tell her that some things are left better unsaid. She doesn't agree. Should I argue? Really? With a 26 year old? She says that's why churches have confessions. Im an atheist. It's why friends have circles. I lost them along the way. Why schools have open forums. That's just sh!t.

I want Elle to take care of me. I like her. Not in that way. In a motherly way. I wish she came sooner. Way sooner. And talked me out of it. For some reason I like listening to Elle. She knows better. Not because she's older. Older doesn't mean wiser. But only because Elle cared enough for a stranger. She didn't call me delusional or crazy. I've mentioned many times that I'm crazy, she hasn't agreed yet.

My friend Leonard. That's where I remember Elle. A book. Elle is straight from a book. She provides like a mother. She isn't my mother. She's like Leonard. Elle is my Leonard. Please stay Elle.