Luca leads me down a dingy corridor. The lights flicker fast and ferociously. That unsettled knot in my stomach twists into my throat. I'm starting to wish I'd just waited in the car. At the end of the corridor is a metal triple locked door, like a door to a restaurant freezer. My heart starts to pound uncomfortably. Luca starts to unbolt the door. Before he gets to the last lock, he turns to me only inches away from me.
"I'm showing you this so you can see me at my worst." He says quietly, his golden eyes slowly pooling black. "You have to understand that the man behind this door betrayed me. Which means he betrayed you too. You have to be on my side for this."
I swallow and nod. I have a feeling I know what hides behind this door. He makes a double-take but decides to open the door, finally. Immediately, an ungodly smell hits me, almost making me fall back. Luca steps into the room first and I follow suit.
The room is mostly empty except for a rickety wooden chair in the corner of the room with what looks like blood-sodden blankets on top. But I realise they aren't blankets. It was a man slumped in the chair in a straight-jacket. Any of his facial features that may have been recognisable were smushed into his face. He had two swollen, black eyes. Completely shattered eye-sockets and nose. Gashes all across his face like he'd been attacked by a wild animal.
I glance at Luca, not knowing what to say or do. Luca seems unfazed by this crumpled pile of man in front of us. He takes a gun from his pocket. I hear it click. I want to close my eyes but some curiosity in me stops me.
Bang.
My ears start to ring. And then a numbness travels down my body.
Blood is splattered in a halo around the man's head. I want to stop looking, but I can't. I eventually look to Luca for some explanation for what has just happened but he is staring at the floor with a raging expression.
"Come on." He says softly and when I look to face him he is already holding the door open for me. I try to move but I can't feel my legs. I want to connect some sort of emotion to what I've just witness but all I feel is my heart calmly beating against my chest. Anger, disgust, sorrow, shame, even gladness? Nope. I don't even feel unsettled. I just feel the cold draft in the room.
All my life I've been trying to find the balance between torturous anxiety and peace. My mind runs at a million miles an hour most of the time and my nervous system feels like its shredding my body from the inside out.
But now, for the first time ever, I think, I feel nothing.
I bring myself back to the present, except I'm not in that room anymore, I'm being led down the corridor gently. When did that happen? Did I just black out? We are now sitting in a tension-filled silence in the car. I don't remember leaving the building or the walk to the car or even getting in the car. I can't even feel this so-called tension but I know Luca is as he is looking jittery and restless. Like he's waiting for me to do something. Or say something. I try to think of what to say but my mind fills with fog. My ears start to ring again.
"Izz?!" I finally come to and Luca is practically screaming at me.
"Yes?" I turn to him with no expression.
"Finally. She speaks." Luca chuckles sarcastically.
"What do you want to do now then?" I ask.
"Well, have you not got anything to say about what just happened?"
"No..."
"Right." He turns away from me with a slight look of concern.
"I'm hungry." I think out-loud.
He starts the engine and drives us away. I don't pay attention to where we are going or what I can see out the window. My mind just fills with nothingness like I'm in a daydream I can't remember.
We stop and park up next to a small restaurant. The setting sun beats down into the car providing warmth to my numb fingers. The golden glow shines across my face. I can't quite remember what peace feels like. I don't think I've experienced true, comfortable bliss since I was a child. But I feel something like that. Like a physical and emotional weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's not like I have nothing to worry about. But my mind feels clear and free again. Like I'm finally in control.
I close my eyes for a few seconds, taking in this new found feeling. A warm, rough hand traces the side of my face, moving my hair to the side. Luca slowly pushes me to face him and I blink to open my eyes. His eyes are glistening like golden pools of honey. And then, he kisses me like I've never been kissed before. Before, it felt like he wanted me. Now it feels like he needs me.
Butterflies flood my stomach as I give in and kiss him back with the same energy.
♡Sorry for the inconsistent updates. I have exams at the moment, but will be updating much more frequently once they're finished.♡
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Degeneracy♡
RomanceIsobel Shelby, is a hard-working nineteen-year-old, with bucket loads of ambition. She is studying criminology and psychology at University and is on the pathway to success. This all changes when she meets Luca. She is put on a two-week placement in...
