Silver-green Blood | Mattheo Riddle

3 | CIGARETTES

My consciousness is slowly fading. With every his word my skin feels colder. I don't want to play his games anymore.

I abruptly stop and turn around. His eyes are looking directly into mine, with an amused, deadly look. His face is only a few inches away and his body is almost pressed onto mine. I can even smell the sharp scent of his cologne.

"I thought you knew better than to stop, darling" he says in a low tone.

"Why are you doing this?"

"How about you ask me some more creative questions, yeah?"

"Mattheo, tell me what the fuck you want from me."

"I don't want anything from you. I am just here to finish what should have been done a long time ago."

I make a confused face, as I sincerely don't know what he is talking about. He smirks as soon as he realizes what I'm thinking. He leans closer to me, his mouth just next to my ear.

"Wake up"

I gasp as I take a look at my dorm. I am awake, finally. Now, I get it. All those times when I tought I suceeded to control my dreams, it was him. I never actually ran away from him. He has been controlling when I wake up, how fast I get tired, how fast I can run, how the hallways will turn.

How can someone as beautiful as him be so damn psychotic?

I am starting to be numb at the sense of fear his presence gives me. I am not as scared as I used to be, even though I know I should be. I should be terrified, traumatized even.

***

Today went surprisingly smooth. I didn't have to be close to Mattheo, since I didn't have potions today. I am on my way to the astronomy tower, because I haven't felt the best today. There are days where we don't feel good mentally, not knowing why. We are at peace, yet our minds feel like they are running. You feel like you didn't stress that much, until you feel like you haven't tasted inner peace in days.

Until you feel the unbearable thirst and need to simply relax and make your thoughts go silent.

"Hey girl, where are you going?" Viv asks me.

"To smoke."

"Is everything okay? Want me to go with you?"

"All okay, just a tiring day so I am going to relax a bit"

She smiles warmly at me and turns around towards her dorm, making her curls sway.

I can feel the air being cold as ice as I open the door of the tower. It feels like I can finally breath again. It is always so quiet here. I come close to the fence lighting a cigarette and putting my hands on the metal railing .

Ever since I was a little girl I have loves the feeling of coldness on my skin, because it make me feel alive. It makes me conscious of my body and not in the way that makes you cry on your bathroom floor for hours. It reminds me that I am a person and present.

"Why are you here?" i say inhaling another puff. The silence seems heavy, deafening, but I know I should wait for an answer.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I always know."

Mattheo puts his hand on the fence right next to me. I didn't turn around, but I could somehow know he was here before he spoke.

"You know, you are a really bad stalker"

"If I am so bad, then who made you that tired?"

"You think you're so smart, so mysterious, so dangerous. But, you're not"

He is fucking dangerous, Amrlia, shut the fuck up.

"What would you know, you look like you don't have a single thought behind those dumb eyes"

I turn to look at him and my eyes are suddenly on his.

"You knew that I would be here, since you followed me after school yesterday. You probably wanted to fight me or strangle me until I passed out, so you can take me to wherever you planned. But, you realized I would fight back and be a struggle to take down, so you brought a drugged cloth. I caught you off guard by coming too early and the cloth is in your backpack over there, which you can't reach without me noticing. "

His eyes are widened and it is obvious he really thought I was dumb.

"Who's dumb now? "

I tried not to laugh at his shocked expression and turn around towards the door. He didn't even turn to see where I was going or what I was doing. Looks like I crushed his little useless plans.

I am much weaker than him mentally, but physically the difference isn't that huge. It only takes a single weapon and I would easily win him in a fight.

I understand what he meant when he said that my eyes look dumb. My whole appearance seems very innocent.

My hair, face and body all make me look like an easy target.

They make me look like a prey. But, I am much more than that.

We are not just our body. We are all the things we lived through, all the good memories, all the trauma.

I am near my dorm, but I still have a few minutes to walk.

I look weak, but who protected me for four years then? Who was there to raise me, to wipe my tears, to help me survive?

My thoughts start running faster, my sight gets unclear and everything loses shape, color and meaning. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel trapped with my dark thoughts and every their word hurts me, making deep cuts.

I suddenly stop walking when I realize how it's too quiet, but it's too late.

A cloth is pressed onto my face and I fall into darkness. The last thing I am aware of is the feeling of arms tightly holding me and the smell of a familiar cologne.

Mattheo.