Strawberry Fields Forever

Chapter 19

Johns pov
I went downstairs leaving Alex to sleep, i wiped away my tears that had poured out of my eyes for over half an hour waiting for her to wake up. i thought maybe if i hadn't of gone home when she had ran off then maybe she wouldn't be in the state shes in now, if i had just gone and found her she would of been okay.
I'll never forget the words Paul practically shouted when i opened the door.
"John! John! Help please! I just found her like this! I'm scared!"
She was just lying in Paul's arms unconscious, blood all over her and her clothing. i was scared, i thought she was dead at first but then checked for a pulse, finding one.
I knew exactly who did this to Alex and i swear down if i ever see him again i'll make sure he never fuckin touches her again, that sick bastard!
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Alexs pov
I was lied down in John bed, i turned to my side and towards the door i saw a ghostly white figure, i shivered as i recognised the figure, my mother.
"Mum! Please come back!" I shouted and tried to get up but i couldn't move
The figure didn't reply.
"Dad isn't the same! I miss you! I want you back! Im loosing everything at the moment! I don't know how much longer i can cope!"
The figure started to fade away, tears poured down my cheeks.
"No! Mum!" I screamed
And suddenly, woke up.
I looked at the door, nothing was there. i had been dreaming the whole time, but i had been crying even when dreaming as my face was all wet.
John came running up the stairs and into his room
"Are you okay?! I heard screaming" he
said concerned
"I'm fine, i just had a bad dream" i replied not making eye contact with him
"I... erm hope your okay Alex"
"John?"
"Yeah"
"How long will all this continue for?"
"All what?"
"All the pain, my dad, the memories, when will it all just stop, an' ill be able to live a normal life... just like when my mum was alive" i sighed
"I don't know Alex, but your safe with me, I'm gonna make sure your 'father' never lays a finger on you again"
"You've hurt me as well John"
"W-what" he stuttered
"That night at the club, my fuckin birthday!" I started crying "you ruined everything! You ruined my birthday! Everything was starting to get normal again! I loved you John! I fuckin loved you! I gave you everything! And this is what i get!" I trailed off not being able to speak anymore i was crying to much
I covered my face with my hands as i cried into my knees
I felt two arms wrap around me, i looked up, seeing John. he was also crying.
"I'm so so sorry Alex, everything's my fault, i always screw things up" he said quietly
I gave into his hug and hugged him tight, never wanting to let him go, i didn't want to loose John. no matter how many times he screwed up i knew i would always come back to him.
"I missed you so much John" i whispered
"I missed you too, i love you"
"I'll always love you"
---
Johns pov
I'm glad I've got Alex back, i missed her so much! Its like shes my drug and i rely on her to keep me going everyday, and if i can't have her then i don't know what I'd do.
---
Alexs pov
Its been a few of days since what happened with my dad, I'm happy to have John, i just have this feeling that i cant describe, i feel like everything is gonna go wrong and my life will turn upside down. i feel like i need to get away, get away from my dad, school, Liverpool an' even John, i just need to get away from everything, i need a break from it all.
I haven't been going to school recently so i would sit at Johns house and wait for him to get back from school.
I heard the front door unlock and i was guessing it was John, i heard him walking upstairs.
"Hey Alex" he popped his head through the door then walked into the room.
"Hi, erm John? I was wondering if i could talk to you about something?" I asked nervously
"Yeah course" he said and sat down on the bed next to me
"John i don't know how to put this because i know your gonna be angry and upset"
"W-whats happened" he stuttered, looking worried
"I-i think i need a break"
"A break? From what"
"From everything, i just need to get away from here for a while and sort myself out"
"What the fuck! You don't need a break! Your fine here aren't you?"
"John I'm sorry, i think we both need time apart"
"Why? I can change Alex. I swear down i'll change, i wont go out and get pissed, i'll stay here and work on us getting better-"
"John please-"
"No! Shut up please! Im sorry i always fuck everything up Alex!" He wasn't shouting angrily, he was shouting with sadness, he deep brown eyes were filled with tears. "why though, why do you have to leave me" he said as a tear slipped down his cheek
"I love you John, i really do" i said quietly as i silently cried
"Where are you gonna go?" He said
i thought for a moment before saying "I'm gonna go live with my Aunty and Uncle"
he nodded "wheres that"
"Erm.. In london"
"London!?"
"John, i wont be long, i'll come back i promise"
John didn't reply he was just looking down, i could see tears fall onto his trousers.
"I want to do this now, before we get serious again" i said
John just nodded "i understand" he looked up, revealing his red, wet eyes from crying
"I'll miss you Alex"
"I will as well, i love you John"
"I love you too" he said before kissing me on the lips
---
"Remember to call me everyday" John said while hugging me
"I will John" i replied then kissed him
That was the last things we said to each other before i left with my suitcase, i took a deep breath and carried on walking, trying to hold in my tears.
what would happen to John while i was gone, maybe he would find a new girl and forget about me, tears trickled down my cheeks as i thought about it.
I lied.
I lied to John.
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Authors note- haiii!! Omg guys i would just like to thank all my readers because I've got 1.3k reads!!! THANKS DUDES! Also would like to mention that I'm 143 days clean even though I've been feeling extremely suicidal recently. Thank youu for reading, i hope it was at least decent.. haha, vote and comment! :)