Chapter 26

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Evelyn

I cried for three straight days after that. I found Jude's flowers outside the apartment as I left with my full suitcase, and broke down. John was away again, somewhere in the Middle East this time, so was gone for a few weeks. I moved into the room he had allocated for me and locked myself in for those three days, ignoring calls and messages from everyone, completely isolating myself.

But today, I had to leave. Because my parents were coming, and if I knew my sister, she'd turn up at the door too.

I didn't know what to do. The house was clean, thanks to the huge housekeeping squadron that the Carlisle family employed. I wandered round the house, finding new rooms everywhere I turned. I felt like a princess trapped in a castle.

I felt completely numb. Everything in my body wanted to call Jude and tell him everything and for him to tell me everything is alright. I could hear him pleading with me not to let him go. I was utterly haunted.

I sat down on one of the million pound couches, and opened my phone to the article Vanity Fair had written on mine and John's engagement. I hadn't had chance to read much of it, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

5 days earlier- the interview

I opened the door to see a woman in a perfectly fitted suit smiling back at me. I put on a brave face and let her in. I took her to the main living room and Rachel, the housekeeper, brought in tea and custard creams.

She introduced herself as Lilian and expressed her very loud opinion that the house absolutely a dream, even though I was trapped in a nightmare.

She looked up in admiration at the high ceilings before taking a seat opposite me and pulling out a notebook and her phone. I started to get very nervous. What if I said something wrong or Lilian knew I was lying?

"So," she began, "first of all, thank you for having me."

I smiled. "It's no problem."

"Ok, so tell me a little bit about how your relationship with John Carlisle started?"

Taking a deep breath, I retraced my memory back when everything was good and normal. "It's been a whirlwind really. We met at a UCL party in May. I was at the end of my first year and he had just graduated. He bought me a drink and invited me to Paris."

"This first time you met?" She asked in disbelief.

I nodded. "I know, John always said he just knew when he saw me. I guess he was right."

It pained me to say it. But I put on a brave face as Lilian wrote down what I said and made sure she was recording on her phone. "Wow, so what about you? What's your story?"

I remember what John had said. "I grew up in Birmingham, in a tiny house on a council estate with my mum, dad and older sister. My mum is from Argentina and my dad is from Bradford so we definitely had mix of cultures growing up. We spent a lot of time in Buenos Aires, summers and Christmases, it's one of my favourite places."

"So you and John had a very different upbringings, does that affect your relationship at all?"

I didn't really know how to answer this. It affected everything, all the time, good and bad, but now especially, very very bad. "I think it does, me and John are very different people, but I think that's what makes us work."

She seemed to think the question was acceptable as she scribbled on her notepad. The conversation went back and forth, asking me about my family and friends and John's family and friends. I answered politely and to the point, trying not to dig too deep a hole.

Then she moved onto wedding plans and engagement parties. I tried to say as much as I could without bursting into tears at the thought of marrying John.

"Thank you so much for your time," Lilian said. "Last question, I've heard you're close friends with Jude Bellingham. You went to the Ballon D'Ors with him last month. Was there anything between you and him?"

I couldn't breathe. "There was a long time ago, but I am so excited to plan my wedding, John is the love of my life and I wouldn't want it any other way."

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