Pirate King - Ateez x original female character

Chp 10: Inception

"You fucked her?!"

I had expected the scolding I had gotten from wooyoung, yunho and jongho, I was a little more surprised by san and mingi. However the venom yeosang had while going after me was genuinely unexpected. He had thrown the door to my quarters open so hard the door banged against the wall. The hanging pictures and maps shook. He advanced on the desk where I sat, trying to focus but mostly moping.

"You fucked the girl that had literally just woken up from a coma?! That had been tortured?!" he slammed his hands down on the table in front of me, "She has a broken rib hongjoong!"

I winced. I hadn't known about the rib until wooyoung had said something about it. Everytime it was brought up i felt waves of nausea and regret boil in me.

"Yeosang i-"

"Shut the fuck up im not done!" he was red in the face with anger, "If you had just had sex with her we would call you a stupid horny asshole, but you left her and had a tantrum. If i didn't fucking love you so much id break your ribs." he ran a hand through his hair, "In fact I wish I didn't love you right now, if I didn't I'd really tell you in full excruciating detail how much of an insufferable jerk you are, borderline sociopathic and a bit of a fucking narcissist." he pointed a finger at me, "Not to mention you did this shit with Seonghwa literally dying in the next room you piece of shit."

"You're right."

"Don't fucking fight with me-" he looked at me, dumbfounded, "What?"

"You are right..." I put my head in my hands, desperately fighting back the tears threatening to spill. "About everything... I wish you would hurt me. I deserve it... for everything I've done." i couldn't help the tears that slid down my cheeks, or the choked sobs that escaped my throat, "I've never been the captain you guys needed, this shit has fucking cemented that fact." I looked up at him with watery eyes, grabbing my chest, "Do you believe me when I say I truly just wanted to protect you? That I really thought it was my only option...?"

His eyes softened as he looked at me, "Hongjoong..."

"I just... I don't know why I did it either..." i sobbed, putting my head back in my hands, "Once everything was over i looked down at her, asleep in my arms and i thought of Seonghwa and i just... I fell apart."

He rounded the desk and wrapped me in his arms, tucking me into his chest, "Hey... shut up. Only we are allowed to say mean things about you... you can't say them about yourself."

"That doesn't make sense, yeosang..."

"Doesn't have to..." he held me until I stopped crying, whispering kindly in my ear and kissing me softly, "You know she's been defending you?"

I looked up at him, "huh?"

"She won't let us criticize you for your actions in front of her. She told me about a million times that you asked for her consent, and that she would have said no if she didn't want to. That you didn't hurt her..."

"Why would she...?"

"Because she cares about you, because she cares about all of us."

—

Hongjoong hadn't talked to me since the incident, but I guess that was to be expected. I wouldn't let him take all the blame though, i had let him fuck me with Seonghwa dying in the next room. The only reason I broke down when he threw his tantrum was that I got overwhelmed, a lot had happened and now I had to try to figure out why the captain was angry. Once i realized that it wasn't actually because of me, more just the situation. i felt a bit better. I was about to round a corner when I heard arguing. There was a lot of that recently, and most of it was about me. I wasn't one for eavesdropping but when it had to do with me best believe I'm listening.

Jongho was yelling at hongjoong, probably for the fifth time now, though i hadn't been present for the other times. What got me however, was how hongjoong did not argue back, he sat there and took it, like he deserved it.

"What would seonghwa think if he knew what you did?" jongho snarled out.

I couldn't stand and watch anymore, I knew jongho was just angry, he didn't actually mean it, "Jongho, that's enough sweetheart...'' I said softly, a hand on his back, "It's not all his fault, and besides... i think he feels bad enough..." i take jonghos hand in mine, "he's just as upset as all of us about Seonghwa... he's just psycho so it comes across weird.'' I couldn't be too nice to him after all.