Into the Forbidden Place

24. Leaving the forbidden place

They were suddenly outside in the courtyard, where Tim tore the mask off his head because he could barely breathe. He sat on the ground, struggling with nausea, sweat dripping from his forehead. But the other three men didn't look any better.

A few minutes later, more people rushed out through the door, wearing masks just like them, lying on the ground, also struggling with illness, and some even vomited a little as they crawled away.

When he was no longer dizzy and could see the things around him sharply, he began to think about what had happened to him. He looked down at his hands, which were still bloody, Mara's blood, he thought.

Then he looked at the others, trying to figure out who they could be; they seemed familiar. The man who had taken him and rescued him was sitting next to him as well, and he turned to him: „These aren't the soldiers who disappeared in the desert, are they?" Then he remembered how he would know what kind of soldiers they were, but to the man's surprise, he nodded.

"Yes, they are those, Tim. They held them captive here, too, like you, in a dark room. Only they weren't alone."

One of the men stood up and raised his arm to get their attention.

"I'm sure you've already figured out that the three of us are from the Inquisition. I'm sorry it took us so long to get here and find the right way to neutralize them! But we succeeded, so let's move on with the plan. I'll take you back to the oasis by a shortened route while my other two comrades stay to clean up the ruins and restore things to their original state."

The shortened route was so short that an hour later, they were already in the desert, along the wall. Tim hated this place. There were so many things they didn't know, and that was kept secret from them. He couldn't even deal with his role.

Then he realized he was in his room, drying his hair in the bathroom with a towel. He scrutinized his face in the mirror. He felt like a stranger was looking back at him, deep dark circles under his eyes, and his face seemed elongated.

He didn't even know how long he had been like this, then he felt like he should rest, but even though he lay down, his thoughts wouldn't let his brain shut off. So, he went out to look for Noir instead.

The old man was sitting with the member of the Inquisition in the library.

"Tim! Come, I thought you were resting, we didn't want to disturb you," said Noir.

"I tried, but I couldn't sleep," Tim sat down opposite them.

"We wanted to talk to you about many things," the other man took over. "First of all, you did a very brave thing, which convinced us that you are committed to the ideals of the Gatekeepers. Therefore, together with Noir, we decided to ask you to be the leader of the Gatekeepers!"

Tim was stunned. He also had a lot to say, but now he remained silent, searching for the right words. The old man smiled understandingly.

"This was a bit much for you now. Maybe we should give you some time to collect yourself. You don't have to answer right away."

Tim pulled himself together. "It's not about that, because I know exactly what I don't want. And although it's extremely flattering, I can't accept it, because since I came back all I can think about is that I no longer belong here. I'm sorry. I feel like I'm suffocating, and actually, I came here now to say goodbye. I want to go home..."

They both sadly looked at Tim. Then Noir spoke first.

"What you're feeling right now is completely understandable, and maybe you just need to rest. Go home, think about it, and then come back in a few months. You're upset now, you shouldn't give up on the Gatekeeping so quickly, I remember how much you wanted it. Plus, you could be a leader right away."

Tim shook his head: "Somehow I feel like I've been swept along with the events. When you say I did a brave thing, I don't feel brave, I actually did something unnecessary. If I hadn't gone back, the Inquisition would have killed Mara and everyone anyway. So I did something unnecessary..."

"Well, yes, it can be seen that way," the member of the Inquisition frowned. "but the fact that you wanted to do something earned our respect."

Tim closed his eyes and saw Mara squeezing his hand around his neck, and his face contorting. This image would now always be with him.

"I'm not even sure I follow the ideals of the Gatekeepers. I just wanted to avenge Mara. I'm not entirely convinced about any ideology. So if you were to accuse me now of sympathizing with the resistance, that wouldn't be true either."

"But then what do you believe in, Tim? Did Mara convince you of their own ideals?" Noir asked, his voice betraying nervousness.

"No, that's not it. I'm just tired..., and I know it would be simpler to reassure you that I stand for the ideals of the Gatekeepers, but I can't because I'm not interested anymore. I want to disappear as far away as possible from here. When I close my eyes, all I see is Mara frozen in blood... that's why I want to leave."

Noir nodded understandingly. And Tim knew that this wasn't the smartest decision of his life to be so honest. But they let go of all the fuss or accountability without reproach. He knew he owed it to Noir's intervention that they didn't hold him accountable for his statement.

As quickly as he could, he set off on the long journey, only saying goodbye to the old man, who promised to keep in touch occasionally. But he couldn't escape it because Lenny and Ikara were waiting for him at the Gatekeeper's post to bid him farewell. Ikara handed him a small box with tears in her eyes—the black hologram Guldar had taken with him on the journey.

Tim thanked her and set off on his long journey. He knew that an even bigger task awaited him at home. He had to tell his grandparents how their daughter, Judith, had died.