Bend Fly Run

Detroit: January 2020

Logan was at the wedding.

I didn't know it until I was on the balcony- after the I Do's and the ceremony- taking my first full breath. I had seen, of course, on my walk down the aisle. Families I poured coffee for every summer- hair gray, teenagers adults. Friends of Cameron- people who'd been a year above me in school. Other faces I couldn't quite place. Was the woman with the braid the one to curse me at the laundromat? Did the brunette in the teal write that first ray of "whore?" Had the man in blue been the mechanic, or a friend of the family? Did he know your wife? Through all of this my mother watched me- even as Zoey Ella appeared in the church aisle- I could feel her stare. I sat when instructed, stood when told. I set my eyes down until alone in the winter. The reception overlooked a beautiful lake, glinting, outlined in snow. Everyone stood inside for the cocktail hour, not yet drunk enough to challenge the cold. I stared at the ice and thought of when I fell through as a child, when an arm pulled me back. I had wept as the woman wrapped me in blankets, as she shouted at her husband to call 911. She had held me in the ambulance and eleven years later stood as she watched my father scrub at graffiti. "I shouldn't have saved you," she told me. She stepped inside.

"Colder than before."

I startled. The blonde hair caught my attention- the edge of a cheek.

"Take this." Logan held out his coat.

"What are you doing here?"

"No answers until you put it on."

I rolled my eyes. "Thank you," I said, shrugging it over my body. "What are you doing here?"

"Your brother married my cousin. Imagine my surprise when I saw you down the aisle. I had to ask around- figure out the connection. Turns out it's pretty boring. But at least you can tell me who's single. Any hot cousins? A cougar aunt?"

"Did you hear anything else?"

"Sorry?"

"When you asked around. Did you hear anything about me?"

Logan tilted his head. "How many drinks have you had?"

"Two," I said. I arched my neck to finish the glass. "Three."

"I talked to Paul and Delilah a couple weeks ago, they said you and your London Lothario were doing well."

"We are."

"Then why are you drinking alone?"

"He lives far away."

Logan waited.

I sashayed the glass between my fingers, rolling its stem to my skin.

"Your family doesn't know about him, do they?"

"Fuck you."

"Predictable."

"How is that predictable?"

"You give away nothing."

I frowned, took a dry sip. "Delilah knows we had sex- I gave that away."

"I'm aware. I got a lecture from Paul about not sleeping with his wife's friends."

"Sorry for that."