Jamie was diagnosed with cancer a month after his wife threw a drink in the diner. Three months later she buried him in the ground. Trista heard from a vacationer the service had been beautiful. She told me this the day she said we couldn't speak anymore. She was my last friend to leave.
He'd been losing weight- that's all I can remember. Sometimes I picture him with hollowed cheeks but I think I'm making that up. He was healthy and then he wasn't. He died at thirty-eight.
I spent the first year after his death expecting to also get cancer, or hit by a bus. That didn't happen so I had to be my own karma. My parents lost the diner, I got my masters to get away. I've told you some of this but not all of it. I should've.
I promised not to call, Elliot.
I hope it's okay I write.
It was never only about sex between us, or being on vacation. I'm sorry I said that, I'm sorry I've hurt you.
It would be selfish to request you write back. Or call. But if you want to, I think we'd have a lot to talk about.
I have a lot to say.
And if you don't want to, I'll know that you're happy. I'll grieve what I lost but I'll keep moving forward, with respect for whatever you decide. You deserve that. You deserve everything.
I'm flying to Los Angeles. I'll buy a stamp when we land.
I love you.
I never stopped.
-Beanie
YOU ARE READING
Bend Fly Run
RomanceAt nineteen, Beanie made a choice that brought her adventure and agony, and she's been treading through the debris of its destruction ever since. Eight years later, she travels to Australia in a moment of bravery and shares a surfing lesson with El...
