𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 | ᵍⁱˡᵇᵉʳᵗ ᵇˡʸᵗʰᵉ

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𝘎𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭. Of which happened to Bella, when death showed itself in the form of tuberculosis. A family of four suddenly now of two. Quite similar to grief, tuberculosis made its way into the lungs of Josef and Lucas Carter ending their lives in a painful way. Somehow more hurt was directed to Bella, sorrow and grief sat on her chest, too heavy for the twelve year old to carry. 

The first day after the funeral was spent laying on her bed, reviewing the memories of her father and older brother. She, somewhat selfishly, or so she thought, only cared for herself at that moment, she pitied herself and wished she could be any other girl in Prince Edward Island. Of course the Avonlea women stopped by, where she had to drag herself to open the door, with a weary smile. The food was taken care of, Marilla's plum puffs, Rachel Lynde's pies and even a shepherd pie from Mrs. Barry (she believed it was from the maids hands).

The next day Bella checked on her mother -who was barely moving- Bella would have thought she was dead if she didn't hear soft sobbing noises. It was clear that the grief took her mother completely. Bella shook her head with a familiar pit in her chest and cleaned the house, not knowing that this would be her mother's state for quite a while.

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More than a few months past and Bella's mother's face was the only one she has seen for a while. Her bedridden mother was no use in earning money and keeping them alive. Offering to clean the houses of the people of Avonlea gave her enough savings. Perhaps they paid her out of pity or the guilt of rejecting her, Bella hated the feeling but loved that she was helping her family. Family, she realized was only her mother and her.

One day while putting soup beside her mother, she walked heavy heartedly over to her bed. She never really seen her mother move but at some point she eats the food. The topic of her mother somehow flipped over to the death of her brother and father. Bella hit her bed, how did she let herself think about it again? 

She stole a deep breath, she didn't like the smell of her room, cobwebs, she remembered when she and her brother found spiders on their corn fields. The fields. What is she going to do with the fields? The harvest past and they have nothing. Bella sighed, but then remembered a thought that had been on a voyage. School. The Avonlea schoolhouse was no longer in the distance. Bella smiled, which she immediately felt like she should be ashamed of. She knew she had enough money, her heart and brain in unison told her she deserved it. The behaviour was odd since they've been clashing with each other since the horrible day. She stepped gingerly into her mothers room.

"Ma?" Bella called, in a soft voice, feeling somehow scared of shattering her mother. Bella's heavy feeling deepened when her mother ignored her. She told herself her mother doesn't hate her, but as expected the heart denied such a fact. 

Washing her face, brushing her teeth and finally wearing her nightgown, Bella was allowed to sleep. Sleep did not come, thoughts only did. Where are you sleep?  Bella wondered trying to ignore her sadness. The long awake night did help, she decided she was going to school.

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The smell of porridge woke her up. Was her mother making breakfast for her? Was she finally up? Bella sprinted towards the kitchen, the smell disappearing when she was half way down. She stomped her foot and let out a half escaped sob. Her brain was feeling tricky and she wouldn't have it.