I know your pain

People = shit

Rowan's pov

The tour hasn't been going too well lately, especially with the meet and greets. All I want to do is go home and be with my babies. Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my left arm, and I cried out, "I need to get this off!" Chris quickly grabbed onto me and tried to calm me down. "Relax, we'll go see a doctor soon," he said reassuringly. I slowly nodded, still feeling the pain.

Then Ryan spoke up, "Hey Rowan, I would check socials right now..." His tone was sad, and it made my heart sink. I quickly grabbed my phone, and as I scrolled through my social media accounts, tears started to stream down my face. I was shocked and heartbroken to see all the hateful comments. Why did I deserve any of this? It felt like the world was against me.

But Ricky pulled me into a warm embrace. "Babe, we know nothing is fake. Your story is something real. They are just jealous since they can't have me," he said with a smile. His words brought some comfort to me, and I felt a little better.

As I sit and observe the flurry of activity around me, with the guys getting ready for our next concert, I feel a sense of inspiration welling up inside me. It's like a spark has been ignited, urging me to put my thoughts and experiences down on paper. I have been contemplating writing a book about my life for some time now, and this moment seems like the perfect opportunity to get started. I know that my story might not be relatable to everyone, but I'm confident that it will resonate with some. There's a sense of catharsis that comes with sharing your life's journey with others, and I feel that now is the time to take that leap of faith and begin writing.

Ricky's pov

As I was getting ready for our show, I noticed that Rowan seemed lost in thought. Worried, I turned to her and asked if everything was alright. She looked at me and hesitated before admitting, "Yeah, I just want to go home... I miss our babies." Her words struck me hard, and I felt hurt knowing that she was feeling this way. I understood how some fans didn't appreciate her, but I didn't want her to leave the tour.

Holding back my own emotions, I nodded and said, "If you want to go home, we won't stop you." As I spoke, I could feel the lump in my throat growing, but I didn't let it show.

"Thank you, Ricky... I just need to be home for a little bit. Being around the stage still kinda scares me," she explained. I could see the fear in her eyes and pulled her into a tight hug.

I knew that she needed to be with our kids, but the thought of her leaving me alone with the guys on tour made me feel uneasy. However, I didn't let that fear show and instead promised her that I would make sure everything was taken care of.

Chris' eyes appeared to be filled with an intense anger that couldn't be ignored. "We only have a few days left on tour and you're staying!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. As I observed the situation, Rowan's facial expression began to change, and it was clear that she was taken aback by Chris' outburst.

I quickly interjected and attempted to reason with Chris. "Chris, it really isn't a big deal. Rowan wants to be home to take care of her babies. She's feeling homesick, and she needs some rest to heal that broken arm," I said calmly. However, Chris didn't seem to be in the mood for reasoning and rolled his eyes in response.

"Whatever. Let the fans be disappointed in her," he grumbled before turning away. Rowan was visibly hurt by Chris' words and felt disheartened as she walked towards the bunk rooms. "It doesn't matter anyway. They don't like me, to begin with," she muttered, her voice laced with sadness and pain.

What the actual fuck just happened?

Chris' pov

"I think we should go to the venue without Rowan. She doesn't seem interested in joining us anyway," I suggested as I locked her inside the bunk room. The atmosphere inside the tour bus was tense and uncomfortable as we headed outside to the venue.

Vinny expressed his concern, "I don't feel right leaving her behind. She should come with us," and Ricky nodded in agreement.

However, I was adamant that Rowan had made her choice. "She doesn't want to come with us! Let's just go ahead and enjoy the event without worrying about her," I said firmly as I made my way into the venue.

Once we had finished setting up our band equipment, we were finally ready for In This Moment to start playing. As we were getting ready, Spencer came up to us with a concerned look on his face. "Hey," he said, "I noticed that Rowan isn't here. Is everything okay?"

Ricky shot me a mad look, but I knew I had to think quickly. "Yeah, she's okay," I lied. "Her arm was bothering her, so she decided to stay back tonight."

Spencer looked a little uneasy but nodded in understanding. As he walked away, I couldn't help but feel guilty for lying to him.

Rowan's pov

As I slowly opened my eyes, I felt a sense of disorientation wash over me. It took me a few seconds to register my surroundings and realize that I was in a small bunk bed inside a tour bus. I called out, "Ricky?" hoping to hear a response. The silence that followed was unnerving. I got out of the bed, feeling a bit groggy, and almost slipped on the floor. Thankfully, I caught myself just in time. As I stood up, I looked around the bus, but there was no sign of anyone else. Panic started to set in as I wondered if my bandmates had left me behind. "Did they leave me here alone?" I muttered to myself, hoping that it wasn't true.

I had expressed my desire to go home earlier, but I didn't want to upset anyone or make them angry with me. The silence of the tour bus was deafening, and I couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that had settled in the pit of my stomach.

As I sat in the bunk room, I started to feel sharp pains shooting through my broken arm. The pain was unbearable, and I began to panic as I searched the room for my pain medication, but it was nowhere to be found. I suddenly realized that I had left it on the kitchen table before being locked in the room. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. I was trapped, and the realization hit me hard. This wasn't like Ricky to lock me up like this. I leaned against the door, trying to think of a way out, but my mind was clouded with pain and confusion.

As I kicked the door with all my might, it finally gave in and opened. My whole body was aching, and I knew I needed my pain medicine desperately. I quickly grabbed the bottle and left the tour bus, feeling the cold wind hissing around me. I was only wearing a shirt and shorts, and the freezing weather was making my teeth chatter.

I had been locked up in the room before their show, and I was starting to feel claustrophobic. I just needed some fresh air, but they wouldn't let me out. I knew I had to get out of there, so I called a cab to go back home.

I knew they would be mad at me for leaving, but I couldn't take it anymore. Being confined in that small room was making me go insane. I just hoped that they would understand my situation and forgive me for leaving.