Till death do us apart » Han Jisung

03

"...But I can assure you that you are more than enough, Jaeeun."

The tears filling my eyes stung them. His words embraced my heart that melted into his touch as soon as it was held. My lower lip shivered, sticking to my upper lip in hopes to block the sobs that threatened to break out, but my chest only burned more, the sobs escaping my lips.

“It will be okay,” The lump in my throat abounded, a strangulated cry slipping out as he talked. His train-of-solace entered the tunnel of my heart as the seconds passed by. Whether it be the caress of his hand over my head, him guarding me against his chest, or the approach of his words that melted me over.

The skin covering my eyes shivered as they fluttered to open, the fabric of Jisung’s jacket, that my head laid on, was drenched by the drops of my tears. I was under attack by my own mind, as it wrangled me to step away from the boy, but my heart urged me otherwise.

A trail of shiver lowered down my back, a cold breeze slamming against my bones as Jisung was the first one to eliminate the warmth that mixed and entered my own body. My eyes look up to search for him, only to find a glint of tears in his eyes. “I know I can never give you the kind of love a family can, but I’m willing to give you all the comfort I have and can if it means to stop you from harming yourself.”

At his words, I found myself immersed in a wave-of-guilt, my heart hammering against my chest as I looked away from his cocoa coloured eyes that were ensconced behind the black frame of his glasses, reflecting me in my most vulnerable state. “I… Jisung, you don’t have to,” I mumble, the trail-of-my-words dissolving into the thin air as soon as they escaped me. “I have already burdened you enough in under an hour and I—”

Jisung cuts me off, “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” He pauses, taking my frosty hands into his flustered fingers. “Let me hold you when you are hurt, Jaeeun.”

A beat splits over my heart, his voice like warm honey over the ice of my heart as it melted under Jisung’s graze. I looked down at my shaking legs, pursuing my lips as the drops-of-tears drizzled down the clouds of my eyes. I nodded my head, dilemma intertwining around my moves.

“I promise that I’ll try my best.”

My nose scalded as I sucked in an emanation-of-the wind, my heart still crashing around in the walls of my chest, only increasing its pace more. “Thank you,” A frail cry cascaded out of my mouth, “Thank you for helping me even though you don’t even know me.”

“Well, technically,” He pauses, pushing the frame of his glasses, “I did know you. I’m the class president, remember?”

“Oh, right.” The remembrance collided into me, dwelling into the pond of my mind to keep in possession in my memoir. I nodded, acknowledging his eminence.

“So, no need to think of us as strangers,” As he raised his hand in-front-of my face, he instantaneously heaved himself away, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I… I thought I could, you know, wipe your tears away, but I don’t think we are that close now.”

“No, it’s… it’s alright,” Faltering lacing over my words, I assured him. Engaging his gaze back with my eyes, I strained the corner of my lips into a small smile. “Don’t worry.”

His pink, plump lips, too stretched into a diminutive smile. The expeditious hurry of my heartbeat began to simmer down, as the knot in my stomach too started to loosen up. My gaze slipped away, meeting the window as the twilight-of-evening came into my view. The vagueness of the classroom being hidden behind the small trail of the moon hitting the walls.

The tears that were submerging through my eyes began to dry up into a drought, the rain of my cries starting to come to an end. Jisung’s words grew raucous in my anamnesis as the seconds slipped by the clock hanging on one of the walls in the classroom. The gentleness in his tone filled up my mind, helping me rest the speed of my pounding heart.

“So,” He begins speaking, his voice ringing in my ears, taking me out of the trance in my mind. “See you tomorrow?”

The corners of my lips quivered into a small smile, “Tomorrow.”

—

My footsteps echoed around the busy hallway, full of chattering and laughter. I dug my hands in the pockets of my jacket, seeking to engulf my icy hands in the warmth of the fabric. I let out a deep breath, making my way to my first class of the day.

After Jisung and I parted ways yesterday, the tears that my heart ditched under the words of Jisung once again drizzled down my eyes, but the reason wasn’t the illusion-of-melancholia wearing over me, but Jisung’s words enveloping my soul.

With a shake of my head, I pushed the door of my classroom open. The students present in the classroom stabbing me with the knife of their sharp glares. A drought took over my throat, my heart crashing against my chest as their eyes threw daggers in my direction.

A lump abounded in my throat. The icy hands that were at relaxation in my pockets were drowned in my own sweat. My eyes landed on-one-of the girls, her nose crinkled upwards as she flinched when she met my eyes, making me feel smaller than I already was. Sweat crystallized on my forehead, the freezy room coming in no help.

My eyes rumbled around the room to face the same expression from Jisung, but my shoulders shrugged down as his presence was not yet in the room. An insecure sigh escaped the barriers of my lips, as I made my way to my seat, despite the bullets of their full-of-disgust glares.

As I slumped down on my seat, keeping my hand over my chest while trying to relax my heart that assiduously hammered against the wall of my chest. My clammy hands fiddled with one another, rolling the ring around my index finger as I tried to distract myself.

A trail of footsteps reiterated itself around in the walls of my ears, as I turned my head by my side, catching the figure of a girl walking towards me. “Hey, Choi Jaeeun,” She stops in-front-of me, leaning against my table. “Did you sleep with the class president?”