Baguette Rhymes with Dead || ONC 2024 | ✔

Chapter 14: As Long As We Live

The speed at which Béatrice managed to drive made me suspect that she'd been a getaway driver in her French Resistance days, or, alternatively, that she had a secret street racing habit. Her tiny car zipped across the Other Paris' roads; I swore that, occasionally, it no longer made contact with the surface altogether.

It was a stark contrast to the slower pace at our ghost tour's start hours ago, when Luc and I had been able to study the city from within the vehicle at our leisure. Now, we held on for dear life while Béatrice combined next-level road hogging with telling us her story.

"After that poor night guard was possessed in the Eighties, Professor Abelard approached his students with a request his wife had made to the City Council," she explained as she slammed her car's horn to notify those unfortunate enough to be in our way that they had to get lost. "It proposed that, to avoid a repeat of the Gilbert Perrault incident, any future living persons entering our city should not roam about unaccompanied, but should instead have a guide to ensure their safety. Professor Abelard had been asked to select such a guide from any trustworthy students he knew might want to volunteer. I was given the position after a rigorous application process. I would only have to do it for one night each year, of course, and if anyone alive would wander in, I would have complete freedom in shaping my tour, with the caveat that I would bring the tourists to Madame Heloise first. Purely as a formality associated with her role as a city representative, I was told."

Though I cringed at the car's swerving, being able to sit and the knowledge we were on our way home had calmed me down. I was reinvigorated enough to scoff. "Well, that was a lie."

"It made sense to me at the time. I spent decades waiting for tourists to no avail. Then, a few years ago, I forget how many, I was lingering in the Sorbonne after a class and overheard an alarming conversation between Professor Abelard and Madame Heloise. I discovered the real reason behind their concocting the tour guide plan, then, but I knew I would not have been able to expose them. I decided I would pretend I was still oblivious to their endeavours and send any living tourists back to their own realm immediately, even though it would pain me to do so."

A sharp turn, a risky overtaking, a cacophony of honking horns. In all honesty, I was getting a little carsick. How Luc could munch on a leftover demi-baguette sandwich and keep it down was beyond me.

"You didn't send us back."

Béatrice sighed, accelerating harder for good measure. "I should have stuck to my plan. But I had taken the job because I thought I would love it, and when you arrived, I let my excitement get the better of me and failed to turn you away. I mistakenly thought I could give you the night of your life and keep you safe in the process. But I hadn't expected Abelard and Heloise would have enlisted other students to spy on me, and I underestimated the couple's ability to find you. My sincerest apologies again, darlings."

Or our ability to let ourselves get found. Béatrice's earlier failure to send us back home had endangered us, but I couldn't bring myself to be angry at her for it. She'd done her best for us in every way she could, was still doing so now, and Luc and I had made the choice to stay here after her warning all by ourselves.

And this probably had been the night of my life in a variety of ways.

Luc was in a similarly forgiving mood. "Water under the bridge," he spoke around a mouthful of sandwich. "You're still the best spirit guide, Béa, and your tour was a solid ten out of ten stars."

"Nine out of ten for me," I added. "Docking one star for the near-death experiences. Sorry."

"Nine stars and a half," Luc compromised. "The sandwiches make up for a lot."