Four-year-old Luke Park looked at the turkey in the middle of the table with open skepticism. Unlike the photo of the turkey in the recipe his mother had been following, the skin of this bird was burned blackened on top, and smelled a little like charred rubber. Still, Roseanne excitedly smiled down at Luke, waiting for him to say something. He gave her half a smile.
"Oh, come on, kid," Roseanne laughed. "You don't need to look so scared."
His nose wrinkled as he reached out and poked the dried skin. "It's burneded, Mommy. I don't think you did it right. Did you do like Lis told you?"
A bloom of rich, deep laughter began beside her, and Roseanne turned to scowl at her girlfriend. "Of course, you get here in time to see him say that!"
Lisa's nose twitched with stifled laughter.
"It's supposed to look like that!" Roseanne cried, hoping no one had seen the picture on the recipe.
Luke's face screwed up tighter in distaste, not fooled. "Nu-uh."
Roseanne couldn't help but laugh, popping his little butt lightly with the wooden spoon she was still holding.
He jumped and giggled, his eyes twinkling and his dimple sunken in. He was on cloud nine today, so happy to have Thanksgiving with both Roseanne and Lisa.
Sticking out her tongue, she followed Lisa back through the kitchen door, and just because she could, she smacked Lisa's butt with the same spoon.
She jumped, too, but unlike the little giggle Luke had let out, Lisa tossed Roseanne a look that sent tingles through her entire body. "Now that's something we haven't tried."
Roseanne tried to make a joke, but her words came out garbled, an after-effect of the look her luscious girlfriend had given her.
Lisa picked up a basket of rolls and turned to leave, but Roseanne caught her by the arm, spinning her back into her. Lisa set the basket down and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her in a little closer.
"Mm," Lisa sighed as Roseanne kissed her, taking a moment of adult time while Luke sat waiting in the dining room, probably sticking his finger into the yams or playing with the green beans.
"Everything looks great, Ms. Park." Lisa rolled her lips together as if to absorb the taste of Roseanne.
Roseanne playfully rolled her eyes. Lisa only used the nickname when she was teasing, a gentle joke about the fact that she was technically still Roseanne's boss.
Roseanne hummed as Lisa kissed her again, hands hovering over her jaw, then her shoulders, before finally settling on Roseanne's hips and pulling her even tighter.
It was strange to think that a few weeks before, she and Lisa had been fighting, that they had even gone as far as to think they were broken up. Things were so good now that those days felt like a lifetime ago.
One early morning text message from Lisa – that Roseanne had been right, it had seemed like a breakup – had ended their stubborn standoff. After that, it had only taken another two days of talking, fighting, and apologizing before Roseanne allowed Lisa to stay the night.
The next morning Lisa had finally seen Luke again. Their reunion had warmed Roseanne's heart, making her sure that allowing Lisa back into their lives after that stupid deaf dinner had been the right thing to do. Lisa had scooped Luke up and kissed his face while Luke bellowed about how happy he was to see her, his voice screeching so high that it made Roseanne wince and the dog next door start to bark.
After all of that, the admissions and the fights, it had only taken two days to fall right back into the place they were before the Gallaudet dinner. It had been easy to get back to that warm, languid place that filled Roseanne with an easy happiness. Both women had happily pushed the fight away, agreeing that it was best to pretend it had never happened.
It was for the best, Roseanne was sure of it; though late at night, when she was being honest with herself, Roseanne worried about what the future would bring. Though both had given in to a lot of things, the one thing that Lisa hadn't done was admit that perhaps Roseanne had a point, that Roseanne hadn't been refusing to use Lisa's mother tongue or that Lisa correcting her in that way had been humiliating.
They had moved on, and yet Roseanne worried that next time she forgot a sign or got frustrated or shy, Lisa would snap. She worried about that a lot, so she had done her best to find a solution before it could happen. She had doubled her ASL lessons with Charlie, Lisa's best friend and personal interpreter.
It wasn't a perfect solution, it didn't fix the strange blush that formed every time she lifted her hands to sign, but she was working on it. She just couldn't get the sound of being laughed at out of her mind, of the kind but strangely condescending way she had been corrected by Lisa, the one who was supposed to make her feel better about learning. It was making her a little gun shy.
All in all, though, Roseanne had to admit that the fight that had nearly broken them up had been a stupid one, and she was relieved that it was behind them.
But Thanksgiving wasn't the time to dwell on the past. Breaking apart from their breathless kiss with a chuckle, Roseanne and Lisa grabbed the last of the things from the kitchen and plopped them down on the dining room table.
"Ta-da!" Roseanne chimed, and both Luke and Lisa applauded.
"All right, who's ready to eat?" Lisa was smiling as she asked, but Roseanne was sure she also saw her eyeing the burned turkey a little nervously.
"Me! Me! Me!" Luke bounced.
The trio sat around the very full Thanksgiving table and enthusiastically loaded their plates before raising their glasses in a toast.
"To Thanksgiving! May it be one of our best!" Roseanne said with a wink at Luke.
"What are you great-ful for?" her four-year-old chided his mother when she didn't continue.
"Oh! Um." Roseanne's cheeks warmed a little. "This year I'm thankful for, well, my life, where it is right here and now. I'm in the best playing shape of my career. I have a roof over my head, plenty of food, and wonderful people to share it with."
She cleared her throat, a little embarrassed as she tried to avoid the eyes around the table. She couldn't, it seemed, and so she glanced up and caught Lisa's gaze. Her girlfriend – how had she landed such a sexy girlfriend? – gave her one of those "just-for-them" smiles. The return grin that popped to Roseanne's lips was automatic.
"Anyway," she said, taking a sip of wine. "What are you guys grateful for?"
Luke scratched his chin in thought, as he had seen Sherlock Holmes do on television. "Chocolate pie!" he finally cried.
"Chocolate pie?" Lisa feigned shock, her eyebrows high and her mouth popping open in the overly animated way that she often spoke. "Not Mommy or your food or The Avengers or Supergirl? Chocolate pie?!"
He giggled, falling sideways in his chair as she reached over to tickle him. "Yup! Chocolate pie! Now you!" He pointed at his tickle monster.
"Me? Well, I..." Lisa looked around the table, laughter still shining in her beautiful eyes. Roseanne's heart skipped lightly in her chest. "I suppose I am thankful for the turn my life has taken recently."
Roseanne nodded thoughtfully. "So, how recently, exactly? Are we talking since-I-moved-to-Chicago 'recently,' or like, did you meet a cute girl at the store, or—"
"Oh hush, you!" Lisa said, not at all bothered by Roseanne's teasing. "Let's eat!"
They happily dug in, Roseanne with a little more enthusiasm than she usually gave Thanksgiving dinner. She had never cooked so much in her life, and she was sure it would be amazing. She had a theory that if you added only good spices to a dish, then it had no choice but to come out well. But as she bit into the turkey, she learned she was very wrong. It didn't taste burned exactly. Instead, the bird crumbled in her mouth, reducing itself to unpleasantly smoky and bland sawdust.
Her lip twitched as she took another bite, avoiding the two pairs of eyes covertly slipping to her and away, to her and away. She chewed, looking around the quiet dining room, taking in the photo of Luke Lisa had hung with pride, the window that led to the patio, the salt and pepper shakers. In short, she looked everywhere but at Lisa and Luke.
On her third bite she couldn't take it anymore. "Also, I'm thankful that your mom will have leftovers at her house when we go later." The other two burst into a clatter of laughter, Roseanne lamenting over them, "Why did anyone let me cook the turkey? Whose idea was that? What were you guys thinking?"
"Try some gravy." Lisa handed it to her when their laughter had settled, her face entirely too innocent for Roseanne to believe she wouldn't be mocked for this later.
The sauce turned the turkey into wet, smoky mush.
"Well." Roseanne sat back from her plate. "At least I never said I could cook."
"Oh, you lie!" Lisa cried.
Roseanne made a face at her, and, in retaliation, Lisa grabbed a dinner roll and threw it at her.
"Yeah! You lie!" Luke bellowed, the confusion on his face suddenly lifting as he realized he had an excuse to throw something at his mom.
"Hey! I didn't say I could cook well!"
Lisa rolled her eyes. "Someone's pants are on fire, Ms. Park."
Roseanne stuck her tongue out, delighted as Lisa's fingers intertwined with hers on top of the table and gave a small squeeze.
Despite the state of the turkey, their bellies were filled, and they gathered on the couch to watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and snooze their way through a food coma. Lisa flopped down first, kicking off her heels and groaning in a way that was unusual for someone who typically strived for physical and behavioral perfection.
Roseanne liked it. She enjoyed the rare occasion when Lisa let go of her professional mask to just be herself. She dropped onto Lisa, making her groan at the pressure on her belly. Luke, grinning wildly, climbed on top of the pile of women and settled in a ball like a cat on a perch.
"Oh... so... full!" Lisa gasped, shoving Roseanne's shoulder out of her gut, but also pointedly not pushing her off, Roseanne noticed.
"That turkey really was gross," Roseanne admitted, her chin tilted up so that Lisa could see her speak.
"It was." Lisa laughed, running a finger down her jaw. "Next year I will cook the turkey."
Roseanne's eyes had just settled comfortably closed, but they flew open again at Lisa's pronouncement. She tried to meet her gaze, but Lisa had become distracted by Luke, whose toes were far too close to her face.
Had she really just said next year?
Roseanne and Lisa's relationship was still fairly new, Roseanne having only just moved to Chicago for her job at the Windy City Chamber Ensemble, and yet it had been intense from the start. It was always intense when you were friends first, lovers second. Even more so when someone spent so long dating someone who was a bad choice, as Roseanne had done, while the other watched in frustrated agony. It was lover's torture.
Roseanne opened her mouth, but she found she didn't know what to say.
It was true, there was something different between them now, a feeling that perhaps things could last. Roseanne knew that. Still, hearing Lisa make plans for something three hundred and sixty-five days away was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. She didn't have the best dating record, but she liked Lisa. She liked her a lot. She...
Roseanne bit her lip, cuddling in a little closer.
Lisa gave a grunt, having finally gotten Luke to turn around, his head resting on Roseanne's shoulder.
He gave a big sigh and melted in, purring happily. "Mommy, it's almost Christmas!"
Roseanne chuckled. Her eyes closed as Lisa softly ran her fingers down the side of her face. The sensation immediately sedated her, warmed her. "That's right, buddy."
"Yeah!" He giggled, his legs jerking with happiness. Both women groaned.
A few moments of silence passed, comfortable and easy. Roseanne smiled slowly as from behind her Luke began to play with her hair, humming something slightly out of key that sounded like "Joy to The World."
She loved his little voice.
Carefully, as not to disturb him, Roseanne lifted Lisa's hand and placed it on Luke's back.
Lisa's eyes crinkled around the edges as she smiled. "Is he singing?" she asked, her free hand covertly signing her silent words.
Roseanne nodded and let her head fall back to Lisa's chest, her son cuddled in close on her back.
Roseanne hadn't had much luck in life, not as a child in the foster system and not as an adult. And yet, sitting here now sandwiched between Lisa and Luke, she couldn't help but think that somehow this move had changed the way the wind blew.
Lisa shifted a little so her warm lips could press a kiss into Roseanne's forehead. "He's wonderful, you know."
Roseanne grinned up at her. "You're wonderful."
Yes. Somehow, she had finally gotten lucky.
They dozed through the thirty-minute special, no one minding that they weren't really watching.
When it was over, though their bellies still felt like they would explode, they pulled themselves up and changed into their more formal, going-to-the-Manoban-house clothes.
Jacqueline Manoban, Lisa's mother and head of the board of directors for the J.C. Manoban Foundation, had given them no choice about joining her for a "small get-together," and none of them, from Luke to Lisa, were happy about it.
"Why does she want me to bring my cello?" Roseanne asked as she got ready in the bedroom.
Lisa shrugged as she brushed her hair. "She always plays something after dinner for everyone. She's probably planning on spontaneously asking you to play a piece with her," she said, her fingers making air quotes around the word. "I'm sure she has some obscure arrangement for harp and cello that she's been dying to try out."
"Oh god." The blood dropped from Roseanne's face, and, suddenly dizzy, she sat in the chair behind her with a thump.
"Don't worry about it. Really, Roseanne, it's a compliment. Come on, get dressed. We cannot afford to be late."
"Okay," she muttered.
"Please don't worry. We don't even have to bring your cello if you would rather."
Roseanne looked into Lisa's face and saw she was sincere. "You think so?"
"If you would like."
Roseanne nodded. She knew that Lisa wasn't telling the truth, that not obeying Jacqueline's wishes would be problematic, but it made her feel better anyway.
Roseanne stood and pulled on her shirt in front of the mirror. She was sure that the feeling that it was too tight around her stomach was only in her head. Still, she groaned, the discomfort of getting dressed only heightening the discomfort of the thought of playing with Jacqueline.
She puffed her stomach out as far as it would go and gave it an uncomfortable pat. "I'm so full, I feel like I did when I was pregnant with Luke!" She rubbed the nonexistent bulge, groaning.
Lisa cocked an eyebrow from where she was leaning over the bed to lace her tall, booted heels.
"What?" Roseanne finally asked, a little uncomfortable after a moment or two of Lisa's scrutinizing. She had just said it to get her mind off of performing with Lisa's mother, but if Lisa was about to agree with her, then she would just throw on her pajamas and get into bed.
Lisa pulled her over by the belt and kissed her stomach, her fingers teasing the back of her thighs. "You know, I have never seen pictures of you pregnant with him."
"You haven't?"
Lisa shook her head, propping her chin just over her belly button. "Don't you have any?"
"Yeah, of course." Roseanne went to her dresser and took a photo from the top drawer under a pile of socks. "Okay, you have to promise not to make fun of me."
"I promise no such thing!"
"Well then you can't see it!"
Lisa glared and snatched the picture before Roseanne saw her coming. "Oh my god!" Lisa cried, her face jubilant as she turned the photo around for Roseanne to see.
Even to Roseanne, the twenty-four-year-old version of herself looked so young, despite it being only four short years ago. Her hair was back in a ponytail, as always. She was dressed in her concert blacks, and thick, black-framed sunglasses covered her pregnancy-swollen face.
"Your belly is huge!"
"I know! I put on, like, thirty pounds."
Lisa returned the photo to Roseanne and went back to her laces, her eyebrows drawn into a pinched line.
Roseanne paused beside her dresser. She could tell from the way Lisa was avoiding eye contact that she had something to say, so she went on dressing, one eye on Lisa as she waited. It took a long time. Roseanne was dressed by the time Lisa finally spoke.
"Do you think you would want to get pregnant again?"
Startled, Roseanne dropped the hairbrush she had been holding, her head whipping around to look at Lisa. "What?"
Lisa studied her shoes, picking at invisible nothings along the sole. "Do you think you would want to get pregnant again?"
"You want more kids?"
Lisa gave a soft laugh, shifting as she looked away. "Any children, you mean."
Roseanne frowned. "Right. Uh, why are you asking?"
"I don't know." Lisa shrugged, a very un-Lisa thing to do, and finally looked at her. "We've been dating for several months now. We're both in our thirties—"
"Uh, not yet thirty, thank you," Roseanne teased. She wasn't as uncomfortable with this subject as she thought she should be and that, in and of itself, made her grow all the more uncomfortable.
"All right, we're both nearly thirty. In fact, I, personally, am even a few years past thirty, so I suppose I'm asking because you ask different questions while dating in your thirties than you do when you're in your twenties."
"Uh-huh." Roseanne nodded, playing at thinking it over. She knew her answer. She had been raised with no family whatsoever, bounced around from home to home. She knew by the age of fifteen that she wanted a whole horde of children. She wanted so many children she could create her own sports team. Just so long as she had a significant other to help referee. She wanted to create a home. She wanted a house filled with the laughter and bickering of children, she wanted to know someone perfectly, she wanted a dog, and science fair experiments, and soccer practices at night, and dance classes in the morning. She wanted the American dream. "Does that mean that, um, well, I mean, if you and I ended up together, you would want more kids than Luke?" They had just gone through a rough patch, and yet this picture was so easy to see.
Lisa smiled her all-consuming grin. "Don't you think Luke would want brothers and sisters?"
Roseanne's heart stopped and restarted hard in her chest once, twice, three times, but she did her best at calm, cool, and collected. "I don't know, why don't we ask him?" Lisa laughed and threw a pillow at her. "How many do you want?"
"Three."
"Three total or three more?"
Lisa beamed, her rich brown eyes shining. "More."
Roseanne bit her lip, leaning against the far wall. "That's a lot of kids."
Lisa just smiled.
"Do you want to get pregnant?"
"Yes."
Roseanne couldn't help but beam back. Casually, as casually as she could manage, she leaned over and picked up the brush. "You know. I've always wanted to adopt, too. So many children need a home."
"That's funny."
"What?"
"I have, too."
- - - -
"Luke, we need to go!"
Luke came stomping out of his room with his tie in his hand and tears on his face. "I can't do it!"
Lisa and Roseanne exchanged a look to substitute for the squeals they decided to keep in. Luke in his little blue suit was the cutest thing Roseanne had ever seen, and she was sure from Lisa's face that she would agree.
Lisa beckoned to him and took his tie. "Turn around."
Luke did, and Lisa immediately attacked the back of his neck with kisses. He squealed, caught off-guard, and collapsed into her lap, tipping them both backward into a tumbling, giggling pile.
Roseanne smiled. No, she really wouldn't mind having more of everything with this woman.
