EVE

Chapter Forty-Four

(Is yet another way to deceive yourself.)

~Alberto.~

The air felt heavy, charged with a tension I had unwittingly brought into the room. Her words, a mix of vulnerability and strength, pierced the armour I had meticulously built around myself throughout the day. She stood before me, not just as someone caught in the periphery of my world, but as a beacon of sincerity in a life otherwise mired in deception and danger.

As I observed her, the resolve in her eyes, the slight tremor in her voice that betrayed her inner turmoil, I was reminded of the very reasons I had her around.

"Mio piccolo Luna,"

I began, my voice more controlled than I felt, I paused, searching for the right words, words that would bridge the chasm that had formed between us

"The things I deal with, the decisions I'm forced to make, they aren't just good for business; they're damaging."

I watched her, her expression a canvas of mixed emotions. It was clear she struggled to understand what I meant.

"I know you see strength in yourself, and believe me, I see it too. It's one of the many reasons I...,"

I trailed off, the confession too weighty, too raw to voice in this moment of vulnerability. I could see the frustration in her, the desire to argue.

"You bring light into my darkness, I can't— I won't—risk you. You ask if you can deal with this, with my distance, my silence. But the question is, should you have to?"

The silence that followed was filled with an unspeakable tension, a tug-of-war between desire and duty. I wanted her to stand with me, but in doing so, was I being too selfish in bringing her into a world of danger?

"This isn't about doubting your strength or your resilience. You've shown incredible strength in situations I've thrown you in, and I admire that deeply. I do not ignore or overlook. You are the light that guides me through the most difficult times in this life. You're the light that helps me see through all that happens, guiding me forward. It's you who keeps me going. You light up the darkest parts of my life."

The confession hung in the air, a testament to the tumultuous emotions that coursed through me. The realization that this woman, strong and unwavering, had become an anchor in a sea of chaos was both terrifying and exhilarating. I knew then that no matter the path we chose, no matter the obstacles we would face, the bond that had formed between us was unbreakable.

"But at what cost?"

The day's activities flashed through me, a never-ending list of tasks and meetings that demanded my attention. Yet, for the first time ever, today I found myself hesitant to step into the role expected of me.

The reality of my world, the very essence of it, is cruelty and danger. It's a realm where innocence is not spared, and every decision I make could have repercussions far beyond what anyone can envision. Could I truly keep her safe, or was I dooming us both to a future where the spectre of my world would always loom over us, a constant threat to the peace we sought to find in each other?

I am forced to marry someone else—a woman chosen not for love but for strategic advantage. It was a decision that had been made long before Eve came into my life, yet knowing this did nothing to ease the sense of betrayal that gnawed at me. The image of Eve's face, the vulnerability in her eyes as she expressed her worry for me was unbearable.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

I observed her closely, her face a tableau of conflicting emotions. The silence that followed was suffocating, a testament to the inner turmoil that wracked me.

"This has always been about protecting you, even if it means from myself."

As I stood before Eve, the weight of my decision pressing down on me, I could see the confusion and hurt beginning to cloud her eyes. It was a look I had hoped never to be the cause of, yet here we were, at a crossroads paved with my choices and secrets.

"Mio piccolo Luna," I started again, my voice heavy with sorrow that mirrored the turmoil within.

 "There are times in life when the paths we walk demand more from us than we ever anticipated. They require sacrifices that seem cruel, unjust... and sometimes, those sacrifices involve the very hearts we wish most to protect."

The room felt smaller as if the walls were inching closer with each word I spoke, a physical manifestation of the tightening around my own heart. 

"You have been a beacon of light in my life, a pure force amidst the chaos that surrounds me. But it is because of this... because of what you represent to me, that I must do what I'm about to do."

Her expression shifted, confusion giving way to a dawning realization, a silent plea for it not to be true.  I paused, the next words feeling like a betrayal of everything we had shared, of every moment that had felt like a promise of something more enduring. 

"I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to remain by my side, not when doing so places you in the line of fire, and exposes you to dangers you were never meant to face."

The silence that hung between us was charged, a testament to the depth of feeling, of connection, that had grown. But it was that very connection that compelled me now to make the hardest decision of my life.

"It is for this reason, and this reason alone, that I am sending you back to the estate. It is not a rejection, nor is it a dismissal of what you mean to me. Rather, it is the ultimate act of protecting you, even if it means from myself."

Her voice, when it came, was a whisper, tinged with the pain of betrayal and confusion.

 "But why? Why now? After everything..."

The question hung between us, a plea for an answer I could not fully give without exposing her to even greater harm. Her whisper, laden with the sting of betrayal and confusion, seemed to echo endlessly in the charged silence that enveloped us. Her question, so simple yet loaded with the weight of our shared experiences, demanded an honesty I feared could unravel the fragile lie I was so desperate to weave around her.

"There are aspects of my life, of my world, that I cannot share, not without endangering you further. The 'why now' is a culmination of threats that have grown too close, too personal. This decision, as unbearable as it is, comes from a place of love, from the desire to see you safe, even if it means we must part ways." I lied, each word measured, but heavy with the gravity of our reality. 

"It's not merely the physical threats that compel me to make this decision, but the realization that the closer you are to me, the closer you are to danger."

Her gaze, searching and earnest, sought something in my expression—a sliver of hope, perhaps, or a sign that this wasn't the end. 

"You can't be serious."

The pain in her voice, a mirror to my internal agony, served as a reminder of the price of the life I'd chosen. 

"In the dangerous world I live in, making sure you're safe is the most important thing to me. Some people would try to hurt you just to get to me. It breaks my heart, but the best way I can protect you from these threats is by sending you away."

The air between us felt charged, heavy with unspoken fears and the ghost of dreams we'd dared to dream together. Even though she was upset, she remained strong. She calmly looked for answers despite feeling very emotional.

"So this is it huh?"

Her question struck a chord, resonating with the very fears that had haunted my quiet moments.

 "This separation is very tough, but it's not the end of us. It shows how much I care about you. We're just hitting pause because of the situation, not stopping what we have together. Trust me, our connection is too strong to be broken by just being apart."

Her eyes showed a mix of feelings — trying to understand but also feeling very sad.

She tsked, tears slowly streaming down her face. and stood up from the dinner table headed for the bedroom.

[AN]

HOW DO WE FEEL?????????