Calmness of Sorrows

Chapter 4

It took me some time before I decided to join their table. I couldn't help but feel awkward because of the situation, especially when they gave each other subtle glances as if they were communicating with their eyes.

"Kumakain ka ba ng ganito?" basag ni Vernel sa katahimikan bago inilahad sa tapat ko ang paper plate na naglalaman ng inihaw na pagkain.

Tumango naman ako. I tried to familiarize myself with the food because it's been a long time since I ate these kinds. Ang pork barbecue lang ang halos natatandaan ko.

Ganito ang mga paboritong kainin nila Wine kaya minsan kapag kasama nila akong gumala ay ganito ang kinakain namin. Iyon nga lang mukhang nakalimutan ko na talaga ang pangalan ng iba pa naming kinakain.

Nakatitig sa akin ang apat habang tinitimbang ang reaksyon ko sa pagkain nila.

My brows furrowed in awkwardness. I'm not judging their food naman! It's like they're accusing me with their eyes lalo na itong katabi kong si Vernel.

Sinipat ako saglit ni Zabdiel dahil biglang tumahimik ang mga kasama nyang abala sa pagmamasid sa akin. He eyed me coldly before he started eating his food.

"Ikaw si Lovize Villones, right?" tanong ni Lheoby.

Kumurap ako bago mabagal na tumango.

Oh, kilala nila ako?

Binigyan ako nito ng pala kaibigang ngiti.

"Ayos lang ba sa'yo ang pagkain namin? Pwede ka naming bilhan ng bago kung hindi ka kumakain nyan..." aniya.

Tumikhim si Vernel sa tabi ko at nagsimulang galawin ang pagkain na nasa harap nya.

"Ayos lang ito. Kumakain naman ako," nahihiya kong sinabi.

Throughout my life, I've hated boys and their sense of superiority. I never really wanted to associate my life with them because they can be a pain in the ass. I've been to countless gatherings where families wanted to ask for my hand in marriage, even when I was little, but I never entertained the idea. And because I am the oldest between White and me, our parents want me to handle the company once I graduate.

Gold and silver---I've been surrounded by them since birth. I'm the heiress of one of the country's most famous conglomerates. They say that someone with a similar status to our family would be a good match for me. It's ridiculous.

I can always blend in with people... with any group... but right now.... being with Vernel and his friends seems out of my league. I'm scared to touch their world because I might break it. Do I really have to drag someone into my plans of getting even with Elias? Kailangan ko ba talagang maghiganti para maibalik sakanya ang sakit na idinulot nya sa akin? Or in the end, will I just inflict more pain on myself and become the worst person ever to exist, just like Zaneerah said?

Is my pain valid?

"Kumain ka na," saad ni Vernel nang mapansin nyang natulala ako sa lamesa.

I exhaled deeply and nodded.

Magana silang kumakain na lima. Kumuha ako ng isang barbecue at tinikman iyon. It tastes surprisingly good. Para ring luto sa isang mamahaling restaurant. Mairekomenda nga ang lugar na ito kela Yarra. They'll probably enjoy both the place and the food. Hindi naman kasi kami nakakabisita sa bayan dahil sa Hearth kami palaging kumakain.

"Kamusta, Lovize? Masarap ba?" tanong ni Lheoby nang makita akong kumakain.

I offered a thin smile and nodded at him.

I appreciate his talkativeness. May pinaguusapan sila ni Giann pero nasisingit nya pa akong kausapin. Sa kanilang lima sila lang talaga ni Giann ang maririnig mong naguusap. Tahimik lang kasi ang tatlo na parang may sari-sariling mundo.