Angel Wings (SPN) #Wattys2015

{17}

Dean was a mess. It had been nearly three months since the car accident. Nearly three months since Sam died. Nearly three months since Cas left.

Bobby visited occasionally. Dean had called off the rest of the tour, not believing himself to be capable of doing such a thing. But he wasn't doing anything, wasn't furthering his career. He knew his fans were worried about him. For a while, they understood. His brother was dead, his best friend was gone. Nobody knew they were dating.

But after the first month, it became painfully obvious: Dean Winchester wouldn't be getting better so easily.

He barely wrote new music, only doing so when he desperately needed to release his emotions. When he did write a song, it was dark music, full of angst, completely different from what he created before. He was no longer on tour, and did not perform at all. He didn't do interviews, press conferences, meetings, he just stayed inside, only leaving his house when necessary.

Others tried to persuade him to leave. Telling him it wasn't healthy. But when he showed no signs of listening to them, of considering what they said, they gradually stopped trying. And when they stopped trying, they stopped visiting. Nobody wants to visit a man who won't do anything.

So Dean was left alone, alone with his thoughts. Sometimes silence is violent. He blamed himself for everything now, and all he wished for was a second chance. A second chance with Cas, who hadn't contacted him at all.

His phone didn't work either. Whether it was disconnected or he was ignoring him or anything else, Cas never returned his calls, never picked up, never acknowledged them.

And so Dean stayed inside. He watched TV, becoming hooked on a show called Doctor Who. It was the only thing that gave him release of stress and emotions. Usually. He also related to the Doctor quite a bit.

Dean didn't talk much. He hardly even used his voice anymore, and he knew if he tried to speak, it would come out raspy and erratic. So he just didn't talk. And for three months, that was all he did.

One day, he got a knock at the door. A man was there, dressed down, with a scruffy chin and bags under his eyes, which were red stained. He seemed significantly underweight, and had only a backpack. And yet Dean recognized him.

Castiel was back.

~~~~~

WARNING MAJOR SOB FEELS AND ALSO CLICHE WRITING. ALSO DRAMATIC WRITING.

"Cas?" Dean asked, his voice shaky and raw.

"Dean." Dean choked out a sob. Instantly, he threw his arms around Castiel's neck. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean any of what I said that day. Please don't hate me I already hate myself."

Cas smiled lightly at the man who was gripping him in a tight hug. "Lets go inside, Dean." Dean looked at him and smiled before grabbing his hand. Cas must've looked startled, because Dean pulled away. "Oh sorry. Force of habit. Probably not a good time, huh."

Cas nodded weakly, before walking in and sitting down on Dean's sofa, putting his head in his hands.

"Cas, are you ok?" Dean was surprised. Cas had finally contacted him, and he didn't even seem every mad. Dean sat down next to him, and waited.

Finally, Cas drew a deep breath. "I'm so sorry Dean. I'm sorry I left, and told you not to contact me if you needed me. I'm also sorry for disconnecting my phone. You-you were calling me and I was scared and so I got a new phone so I wouldn't have to worry! I'm sorry for Sam and everything that happened, and I'm sorry we were barely together for 2 days before I went and ruined it all."

Dean sat, stock still. Was Cas blaming himself? "Cas...Castiel...I should be apologizing. I drove you to leave, and I had no reason or excuse to try and call you. Maybe you could have answered, and we could have seen each other again sooner, but you had good reason not to. For all you knew, I was still angry at you and would have gone off on a rant if you picked up.

I'm sorry for blaming you and Gabe though, after you left, I had this sudden epiphany that you weren't the cause and I shouldn't have blamed you."

Cas shook with tears at the mention of his brother.

"How is Gabe, anyway?"

Cas took a shaky breath and held it. "He...he died. Yesterday. Three months in a coma, the doctors thought he was recovering well. They expected him to wake up next week. I-I was sleeping in the room with him when suddenly he just...died." Cas said the last part in a near whisper.

Dean gasped. "Oh, oh my gosh Cas. Oh no I am so sorry." He embraced Cas, who was taking this relatively well, compared to how he took the news of Sam's death.

They sat like that, together and silent. Wondering what had happened in their lives. They had been happy, had fun, had almost everything they needed in life, when suddenly, in the course of one night, everything was smashed into pieces.

Finally, Cas turned to Dean. "You know, I always missed you, the entire time I was gone with Gabe in the hospital. Would you mind, maybe..." he felt so uncomfortable and awkward. "Consider getting back together? Everything happened so fast, so I figured, lets keep the trend going." He let out a weak laugh. Dean smiled along with him. "Why not?"

And so, the broken, beaten, couple sat there. They talked and talked. Dean described what had happened in the past three months, and Cas apologized profusely for leaving him alone.

Cas told Dean all about his early life. How his family had been happy, caring loving. How he had realized that he was actually gay, and after months and months of working up the courage, he told his family.

He told Dean how his family beat him, rejected him, along with Gabe who had come out with Cas. They both cried so much during the story.

Cas explained how his life got progressively worse, but he made sure to reassure Dean that no matter what, he had always had Gabe, and that kept him from harming himself in any way. "So that's why you were so upset with Jayden's family!" Dean realized. Cas nodded sullenly. He told Dean that the second he had turned 18, his parents kicked him out, along with a younger Gabe, and told them to never come back. This made them both guilty as they recalled their fight with each other.

Dean stayed silent as Castiel described how he had gotten arrested, trying to steal some food for his little brother to eat, and how the world at the time saw him as a misfit of sorts, one not to be trusted.

Trying to lighten the mood, Cas and Dean turned to telling funny stories, and they laughed the pain and sadness away. But they were still hurting. The fight, though they had both quickly forgiven each other in seemingly supernatural speed, had taken a lot out of them, and they both knew it would take a lot to fix it.

OMIGOSH GUYS I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOO SORRY IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED IT'S BEEN OVER TWO WEEKS OH MY GOSH ANYWAY I JUST I KEPT REWRITING THIS CHAPTER AND I ENDED UP WITH SOMETHING REALLY CHEESY! I ALSO REWROTE THE LAST BIT ABOUT 5 TIMES OOPS I JUST DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY IT TURNED OUT SO YEAH SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!! BUT IT'S ALMOST DONE WOW IT'LL BE THE FIRST FANFIC I EVER STARTED, AND THE FIRST ONE I ACTUALLY FINISHED AHHHHH OK ANYWAY THERE ARE ONE OR TWO CHAPTERS LEFT SO HOORAY! THANKS GUYS ILY ALL!