finding love

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She was lost. Drugs,alcohol and boys were her thing now. You see her life had been falling apart since she could remember. Her father never thought she was good enough,her mother was timid and stayed in her shell,never speaking up,never standing up for herself so being the eldest daughter Amia took it upon herself to be her mother's voice,and her younger siblings as they came along.

Most nights were a conflict with her father , words slung across the room back and forth slowly ripping her heart to shreds. This was her life for 14 years until her father got sent away.

The taste of freedom was sweet, but not that sweet. She started to go okaces and do things and this was okay for a while but she was not. Self Har was something that had consumed her from the age of 11 after having her first taste at the ripe age of 7. This was something she tried to manage but seemed to miserably fail at.

By 15 she hadn't much skin that wasn't cut or scarred,friends came and went and she had her first proper relationship, as the months went by 2 girlfriends came and went, she had started to throw herself I to finding someone to love her so she exposed herself to the cruel elements of the world. She experienced assault many times that year,being asked to have sex she even tried to kill herself but pulled through

In a desperate attempt to cling on she started smoking weed,slowly her appetite came back and she brightened up but it didn't last for long. A rocky friendship lead her to alcohol and boys, with her friend egging her on in the sidelines she got with an older boy which ultimately lead to a continue rape relationship.

Things were looking dreary but suddenly someone came along, a boy called Florence, he was from abroad and had only been in the country a while,he fell in love with her the moment he saw her.

A few weeks go by and they start dating, he sleeps over for the first time in March and soon after they celebrate Amias birthday, more time goes by and she gets a cat, goes to prom,has the summer of a lifetime attends her first festival,tried mdma for the first time,attends a Halloween party,dances in the snow whit her boyfriend,gets pregnant and has a miscarriage unfortunate but she spends Christmas and Easter with her boyfriend. They celebrate a year and get engaged. She still struggles with her self harm but he helps and slowly things got better.

If topics in this upset you, please reach out for help. You are valid and loved.

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