Down the road of memories

It's too late to apologize

Noah POV

This cause was driving me absolutely crazy!!! It's always more difficult to be impartial when we can see ourselves in our clients...

This client was charged with assault after being involved in a fight with his boss. He allegedly attacked his boss at his workplace after he fired him for nebulous reasons. His boss would have been very angry with my client and would have ended the discussion by telling him that a divorce would follow since he had had an affair with my client's wife. It was too much and my client jumped on him. The security guards arrived on the scene so quickly that even I suspected it was all a set-up.

A few days later, my client received the divorce request from his wife. Since he had been arrested for assault, he would lose custody of his only daughter. His ex-wife demanded an astronomical sum of money from him as a pension. This man was losing everything!

It was practically a hopeless cause and I was trying my best to prevent my client from losing his life. I felt helpless and seething with rage at the complete lack of understanding and compromise from the 2 parts. I wanted to win this case at all costs!

This stress followed me everywhere and even at home where I saw myself creating a distance between Elle and me to allow me to concentrate on this case. Until sleeping in another room...

The day after the argument I had with Elle, I received a visit to my office from my client's former secretary who came to tell me that she had overheard a conversation between my client's ex-wife and his former boss saying that they were going to set up a story to get my client out of his daughter's life and extract as much money as possible from him. The secretary brought me an email from the boss asking her to falsify my client's work to have a valid reason to fire him.

This revelation was a spark to reignite the fire of wanting to fight for my client. With the help of my client's former secretary, I managed to find emails between my client's former boss and ex-wife explaining their scheme. With all this evidence, I managed to get my client dismissed and his former boss was accused of document falsification.

I stood on the stairs outside the courthouse with my client, taking a deep breath for the first time in a week.
- Thank you Master Flynn, I would never have done it without you!" He said to me, holding out his hand to me.
- It was a pleasure !" I said to him, taking his hand in turn. "I really like to finish fights. This has been my saying since high school.
- You did very well this time. And I'll think twice before starting a fight next time!" He said to me before joining his parents who had come to pick him up.

Once my client left, I returned home after stopping by the office. I was exhausted from working late nights on this case. I wanted a quiet evening at home with my fiancée. It was already dark when I arrived. I frowned when I saw that Elle's car was in the yard but no lights were on in the house. Maybe she's in bed? And I realized I didn't remember at all when her last shifts were this week. I entered the house and went upstairs to wake up sleeping beauty... But our bed was empty...

Maybe she went for a jog? It was the most plausible answer! Perhaps I would have time to make her some dinner? While I was making dinner, I remembered that I couldn't even remember the last time we had a meal together, just the two of us. And I think we haven't made love in... more than a month. The idea made me wince. How could I have been so absent?

Dinner was ready for over 30 minutes... but still no Elle! I tried to call her but went straight to voicemail :
- Elle, it's me! I'm at home ! Could you call me back and tell me what time you expect to be home? ... I love you !

I looked at my phone after hanging up. I couldn't wait, so I texted her :
Noah : Where are you?

Fear began to grip me when 30 minutes later I still had no news. I'm ashamed to say this but I tried to locate her phone only to realize it was turned off. But where is she ? I didn't think for a single second and called Rachel. Maybe Elle is at their house? And I knew Rachel would be less harsh on me than Lee.
- Noah ?! What is happening ?" She said to me as I could hear the sounds of voices around her.
- I'm sorry to bother you, Rachel, but is Elle at your house?
- I do not think so ! I'm at a 5-7 for work. Lee was spending the evening with your mother. He didn't tell me that Elle was spending the evening with them.
- Thanks Rachel! Sorry to have bothered you!
- It's fine ! Good evening Noah!" She said to me before hanging up.

I then took the car to go to my parents' house. When I entered the house, my mother was sitting alone at the table.
- Noah ? But what are you doing here?" she asked me getting up to come and hug me.
- I'm looking for Elle. Is she here?
- No ! Is she not at work?
- I do not think so ! Her car is parked in front of the house and her phone is turned off.
- It's still hilarious that it took you 3 days to realize that she was gone..." Said my brother who had just returned to the kitchen.

I watched him walk nonchalantly and resume eating quietly while I was on the verge of a panic attack.
- Gone where, Lee?
- Ah, because you don't remember?
- LEE, TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!" I told him, banging my fist on the table, being on the verge of losing control.
- Noah, calm down!" My mother said to me in a tone that I knew was definitive. "Lee knows where Elle is so she's not in danger.
- You know where she is, Noah. I was there when she told you." Lee said to me as he continued to eat.

That's when I remembered, Elle is in Vancouver for a conference.
- How could I have forgotten?" I heard myself say. " I was supposed to go with her.
- It seems that you were too busy with your lawyer stories... " Lee said to me, leaving his sentence hanging while he took a sip of his wine. "...and that Elle couldn't understand.
- I am bound by professional secrecy, Lee!" I told him to defend myself.
- And Elle too! And that doesn't stop her from sharing what she's going through with you!
- It was too complex to explain for her to understand!
- Bullshit, Noah Flynn! Elle Evans is one of the smartest women I know. And even if she wouldn't have understood everything that involved, she could have understood that you found this case difficult. But instead, you let her believe that you were cheating on her with one of your colleagues.

I was stunned to realize that my absence the last few days might have led Elle to think I was cheating on her...
- I could never do something like that to her!" I said disgusted.
- That's what I told her! And I think she believed me! But why did you push her out, Noah?

The answer to Lee's question wasn't so simple. It took me several minutes of thinking before I said to him :
- I was afraid of failing. For not being worthy of her." I told him, keeping my eyes on my hands.
- Noah, Elle never asked you to be a superhero." my mother said to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. "And if there's one person who can understand you when you're afraid of failing, it's her!
- How?

My mother looked at me deeply before answering :
- She sees people die every day. Fathers, mothers, sons and daughters that she could not save.

I turned a blind eye to what my mother told me. In the world of lawyers, defeat is something we try to avoid at all costs. Winning is the only thing that has value. But Elle as a doctor must live with the fact that she cannot save everyone. I rejected the only person who could understand me...
- When is she coming back?" I asked Lee.
- Tomorrow at 11 :00 a.m.!
-Do you think it's too late to apologize?
- I dont think so. But you better not forget the flowers..." Lee told me with a hint in his voice.
- I will not forget !" I told him before kissing my mother on the cheek and heading back to my house.

The loneliness of the house gripped me as I entered it. What would happen to me if Elle refused to forgive me? I slept very poorly that evening despite my tired state. I was at the airport several minutes before Flight 875 arrived from Vancouver. What do I do if she decided to stay in Vancouver? I absolutely had to stop creating catastrophic scenarios for myself. I stopped breathing when Flight 875 landed. I was able to start breathing again when I saw Elle appear at the top of the stairs leading to the baggage carousel. She froze in place when she saw me and walked towards me with an impassive face :
- Is it too late for an apology?" I asked her, really afraid of her answer.

A smile appeared on her face before she put her hands around my neck saying :
- Never...