The Oceans Veiwpoint

Dwelling Guilt

Day 215
In this world there is nothing but sorrow and suffering. I can confirm that as I watched the world around me collapse. The life that I have built for myself the endless suffering I'm enduring now. I sometimes reminisce about the past. The lovely garden I had that bloomed with flowers and vegetables. Oh how I missed eating vegetables. My journey has been nothing but hard. But it's nothing special. Everybody is going through this. I'm lucky to even be alive. Too lucky.
        I knew someone. I knew him since I was a kid, before all this. I met him in elementary. I was more outgoing back then, people would describe me to be a little ball of sunshine. Once I saw him I wanted to be friends with him. But there was a problem. He was deaf. The kids back then would pick on him. Me, trying to be the hero, I would take them all on. Yet, he never interacted with me. Little me was heart broken, I was never rejected like this. So, I made it my mission to learn sign language. My parents were confused but supported the idea of me learning a new language. The process was hard but I just really wanted to be his friend. I still remember vividly how I yelled at the bullies after school for picking on him and chased them away. I turned to him, how he looked so scared, like a little cat that was abandoned. I think I signed, "are you ok?". I will never forget the look on his face, dumbfounded by what I just did. I guess we became friends there on out. We would do everything together, homework, walk to school, eat and what not. I remember this time when we put an invisible string out and we would watch people trip over it and that time we went to the park and found worms. We threw worms at the little kids. Not nice but it was so funny. Seeing him smile was what made me smile. Despite all that, I knew he was suffering. The constant bullying got worse when we got to middle school. But we persevered through it together!
I thought we wouldn't keep anything from each other in spite of the fact that he kept so many things from me. Now that I think about it, that was childish of me. I could have asked him about it. I don't know what but I just could have asked him. I just really regret everything. Would a single action change his mind?
    I stepped into his room. What was happening? Why does he look like that? How did he get up there? Why am I so stupid? I found his body.

"GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!" Wails the woman as I look at her through the gated fence, what is wrong with her? Not only mentally but also appearance wise. She looks like she has been chewed from the inside out, blood all over her, her skin mold green, teeth rotting, no... everything was rotting on her. It was disgusting but god i feel bad for her.