Home Town Girl

29

                                        Age: 18

"Hey baby!" I greet Paige excitedly when she finally gets to my house.

I pull her into a hug which she loosely reciprocates.

"Hey," she says back, way less enthusiastic than me.

She's been really distant lately, but hopefully a good old fashioned sleepover with just us two will help.

I press a kiss to her lips and she lets me. But that's the problem as of late. She doesn't kiss me back, she just lets me kiss her.

She used to be so affectionate and loving, always wanting- no, needing kisses. And by used to be, I mean maybe not even a month ago. Her distance has been gradual, but I noticed it seemed to start after she committed to UConn.

"The pizza should be here in a second," I inform her.

"And after that," I open the freezer, "We'll make ice cream sundaes!"

"Look at all the toppings I got at the store," I gesture grandly to all the various toppings laid out on the counter.

I made sure to get extra chocolate syrup. Paige loves chocolate.

"Wow," she says acting impressed, "Thanks, El."

It's always El now. Not baby, not sweetie. Just El. Like I'm just one of her homies or something.

I take her upstairs so she can put her overnight bag in my room.

"So what do you want to watch tonight?" I ask her.

She shrugs like she doesn't care.

"Doesn't matter."

"We could watch that All American show you like," I suggest.

She just shrugs again.

Wow. She's really giving me nothing.

She looks at the floor then finally back up at me and says, "I wanna watch something you like."

She wants to watch what I like? I mean, we've always compromised and decided on something we both want to watch. She's let me pick before but never straight up said she wants to watch what I want to watch.

"Put on one of those silly little reality shows you like so much," she says, "Like Chrisley Knows Best or Say Yes to the Dress."

She smiles a little bit but has sad eyes as she thinks of my "silly little reality shows". Maybe she's depressed or something.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, trying to look in her eyes as I touching her arm gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she dismisses it.

The doorbell rings, signaling the pizza's here and me and Paige go downstairs to get it.

I turn on Chrisley Knows Best and we sit on the couch with our pizza.

Paige hasn't been saying hardly anything. I don't know why she's so quiet nowadays. She used to be so talkative.

"Hey," I say softly, getting her attention.

She looks over at me, waiting for me to say something.

"You know I love you, right?" I ask her rhetorically.

She should know I love her. I remind her every day. But lately it feels like I'm her mom telling her I love her before she leaves for school instead of her girlfriend telling her. She says she loves me too in such a casual dismissive way. Like she has to, not like she wants to.