Black Carnation

Black Carnation: Part 4

Today was the day Lily would be mine. The potion was all set, the plan would be set in motion, and Lily would be mine as soon as we step into Hogsmeade. We all passed securely through the teachers and into the shops. I had previously told Avery and Mulciber that I wouldn't be with them this time, and thankfully they didn't ask questions. I kept my eyes on Lily and James with his group and I secretly followed them. The first shop that they went into was the one filled with every sweet imaginable. How predictable. I sneaked in behind them and Potter had already purchased a fairy cake the size of a football. I got a little bit closer to it without being seen by Potter or his friends, and just then, the cashier started saying: "Free earthworm gummies for the next minute!" Potter of course rushed to the vendor, giving me the perfect opportunity to slip the potion on top. It sizzled a short moment, and then quietly hissed to a stop. I turned around quickly to find Lily and grabbed her arm to get her attention.

"Lily."

"Oh Severus! You scared me a little bit there. What's the matter?" she asked with concern on her face.

"Nothing. Can I talk to you in private for a second?"

"Sure. Actually, I've been meaning to talk with you too."

"Perfect. Let's go outside. It seems James is a little busy right now." We both looked at him now and saw that James was eating gummies as fast as  he could while his friends cheered him on.

"I guess it's all right then if he's busy." A bit of disappointment left her voice.

"All right, let's go outside then." I put my hand on the small of her back to guide her through the people piling into the store until we had finally reached the outside.

"It is still too loud out here. I know this spot that is very quiet. Would you like to go there?" I asked patiently. I had already done my research so I know the best spot I could take her to.

"As long as it's not too far away from the shop. I don't want James to have a hard time finding me later."

"Don't worry. It's not far." I smiled and walked with her to the spot I had previously chosen. It was absolutely perfect since it was a completely deserted area with a good view of the little city and Hogwarts.

"This is the place." I said once we had climbed our last hill to reach the perfect spot.

"Finally! I thought we would never get here. I see, it's not too far, but I'm sure James can find me later. So what did you have to tell me?

"Didn't you have something you wanted to tell me as well? Please, do go first."

"Sure. Ummm...this isn't very easy for me to say Sev." Sev. I loved it when she used her nickname for me.

"It's all right. I'm sure I will understand." I took a step closer to her.

"Well, I'm worried about you. The friends you hang out with...they're not good. I mean, Mulciber is so creepy. Also, I saw them practicing dark magic!" Her eyes resembled worry and dread. How sweet. She had good reason though.

"So what if they are creepy? I don't care. Besides, about the dark magic...it's just a bit of fun. Nothing more."

"Fun? Dark magic isn't supposed to be fun, it's dangerous!"

"It's not dangerous. Besides, what about Potter and his friends? I don't believe you should be with him anyways. He's a--"

"What does James have to do with this? Severus, what is going on?"

I sighed. "Potter makes fun of me behind your back. He's done terrible things and you are just clueless to all of this!"

"Clueless? What has he done to you?" She was looked very worried now.

"Countless things! Mocked me, hurt me...so many horrible things. But you want to know what the worst thing he has done to me?" I stepped closer to her until we were inches apart.

"What?" She whispered looking up at me with her doe eyes.

"Taken you away from me." I said while staring deep into her eyes. A wind blew between the both of us.

"Severus, I'm...confused."

"Lily, please understand me. That no good Potter took you from me in a way. Lily, I--" My hand went up to touch her cheek.

""Wait Severus!" She took a step backwards. My hand was left hanging between the both of us.

"Don't shun me Lily. I need you in my life...keep me sane." I told her gently. 

"You know I would never shun you Sev, but you're confusing me. You know that I care about you right? Just maybe not in the way that you're thinking." She started fidgeting with her gloves.

"Lily, I know you care. Trust me, that's all I've been thinking about .Somewhere deep inside, I've been hoping that you care for me a lot more than James..."

"I do Sev. But I care about James in a...different way."

"You think you do. Lily, haven't you ever wanted to test how much you care about me?"

"Sev. I don't know." She threw down her hands and looked up. "What is this? What are you trying to say?" Her eyes got a bit wider.

"I'm telling you that I...I...I love you." I said and broke the distance between us and grabbed her face...and kissed her.

I slowly tested her lips at first, but Lily didn't draw back. There was no protesting or rejecting. In fact, she was kissing me back with urgency. 

It soon turned into a deep and entangling passionate kiss that entwined Lily and I together. The kiss...so much passion. All those feelings locked inside for so long now flowed out like a raging river, or as light in a lightening bolt, through my lips onto her perfect ones. Oh Lily, how much I love you! So ardently all this time, and now this sinful kiss bears witness to us both. Why oh why must it be so? If only she were mine, I'd shower you with kisses like this every day. My sweet love. To touch you like this burns my hand, and yet I cannot pull it away. I yearn for your fire to burn every part of me with your love and passion! I feel as if all this could spill into the ocean but I must keep this cup of water forever in my heart and mind.  

I drew back one of my hands into her hair to bring us even closer. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and one of her hands slipped into my hair doing the same thing. I just kept on kissing her until the last possible breath. The she slowly drew back away from mine, ending our passionate kiss.

"Lily..." I whispered gently and lovingly. Finally, I had gotten the moment I have been wanting ever since the first day I saw her all those years ago.

"Severus...I'm sorry." Tears slowly started trickling down her rosy cheeks.

"Lily, please don't cry. That's the last thing I want." I reached down and brushed her tear away.

"I don't know what came over me! I shouldn't have kissed you like that."

"Trust me, yes you should have." I smiled.

"Severus..." She smiled back through her tears.

"See? you can still smile. There is some good in this." She looked down and her hair shielded her face. We'll have none of that today. I brushed aside her hair so that I could see her once more.

"Lily, I love you." I kissed her forehead. "You don't know how happy this makes me."

"But I'm with James...this is wrong."

"You say it's wrong and yet you still hold me tight." She looked down at her arms, and they had unknowingly lowered to tightly wrap my waist now.

"You see?" I told her and smiled again.

"Severus, I'm sorry but I have to go now. I'm so confused. I'm sorry." Before I could stop her, she quickly unraveled her arms around me and fled.

"Lily!" I yelled after her but she didn't turn around to look back.