Step-Secrets

Chapter 9 - Cardiac Regret

Josh POV-

I'm riding my bike with this lovely angel pressed up against me from the front. Her scent engulfing my senses.

Other than Tiffany's safety during the ride, the most glaring thought runs through my mind; that kiss was a mistake. Why'd I ask for it? What was the point? At the moment, I thought I'd never be in a position to kiss her ever again, since I don't know how much time I have left. But now that I did kiss her, instead of feeling happy and satisfied, all I feel is shame and regret.

I know I seemed like I wasn't bothered with her becoming my stepsister because that final love letter was supposed to be the end of this. But that was before we became step siblings. I just had to pretend to be aloof about the whole thing but the truth is, it's been killing me. To be under the same roof as the girl I've been in love with since second grade was too much to handle.

Her cold attitude actually made it easier to try to  get over her legitimately. But that kiss? What was I thinking? I'm more in love with her now than ever but here I am, bringing her to be in the hands of another guy? I really am as much a loser as everyone said I was.

I'm in the middle of thinking all this but I feel Tiffany a tap on my arm.

"Josh, stop!" Tiffany exclaims, "Stop the bike now!"

I pull over on the side walk. Adrenaline and sweat is coursing through my body, I hope my heart can handle all the exertion I've had today.

"Don't worry, Tiffany," I begin to explain after I stop the bike, "I'll stop the bike before we get to the house so they don't have to see you with me."

She gets off the bike and walks a few paces away from me with her back to me. I'm still straddling my bike. For the first time, I notice her trembling. I thought I felt it during the bike ride but I figured I was from all the bumps in the road and the vibrations thereof.

She turns around and I see that she's in tears.
"What's the matter," I asked, concern in my voice, "did get hurt during the ride?" She says nothing but walks right up to me and kisses me, passionately. Reflexively, I meet her kisses and as I hold her waist, my bike falls over.

Wait, why she kissing me now? Is it possible that, all this time, my love hasn't been as unrequited as I thought?

I hold her arms and gently push her back. We're both breaking heavily.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked with confusion on my face.

"What do you mean 'why'?" She asks rhetorically, "Because I love you!" I'm stunned at this confession.

"You what?" I ask.

"You heard me right," She says, through tears, "I love you. It's like that kiss woke me up from this lie I've been telling myself. It confirmed the feelings that I started to get when you were tutoring me and it also reminded me of the feelings I've always been in denial of."

"So..." I say, slowly, "all this time you've felt the same way as me and all it took was one kiss? What about Tyler and Veronica and the rest of your friends? What about how you've been treating everyone who cares about you since you returned from that stupid summer camp?"

"I'm pretty sure I've always felt the same," Tiffany says, "it's just that the kiss awakened the truth in me. It all came flooding back to me in a flash; I've been such a mean bitch to you this whole time. You made me that Armoire for my birthday and I acted like I took it for granted but I was over the moon about it. And then you tutored me. That's when I really fell for you."

I don't know how to react to all this.

"Y'know, this is really unfair of you to do this now." I say, separating myself from her and begin to pick the bike back up. This is the one scenario that I never even considered when I asked if I could kiss her. Of course, I can tell she means everything she's saying. I know her better than anyone.

"I'm fully aware of that," Tiffany says softly, "I'll give you time to think about this. But you must know, I'm dead serious, I'm willing to go to that party right now and kiss you in front of everyone. That's how much I want to be with you, step-siblings or not."

This is everything I've always wanted and yet, I can't tell her why I can't be with her. Because of my heart condition. Do I need to make her hate me so she can forget about me?

"Everything's happening so fast and so sudden," I say, "but here's what I think we should do right now; we should go home and sleep on this. I don't want you regret not going to that party and I don't want you to feel embarrassed by being associated with me."

She gets close to me once more and gives me another kiss, but this one's softer. I feel my heart beating.

"See," she says, "what you just said right now; you're a sweetheart without even trying. And embarrassed? You're a celebrity now, Mr. Hero."

"Well, for starters-," I  begin to talk again when I start feeling pains in my chest. Oh, no! Not now! Not when I finally have a reason to want to keep living!

"Josh!" Tiffany screams, I fall to one knee on the ground, clutching my chest, "what's wrong!? What's happening!?"

"Call 911!" I shout. She doesn't hesitate and gets her phone. Ow! That was a sharp pain. I'm aware that I've fallen to the ground and now Tiffany is cradling my head and body while she's on the phone with the emergency dispatcher. Everything is fading now...I wish could've seen my dad one more time. Fade to black....

End of chapter. Please comment and vote.