This Love (Adopted By Marina) Station 19

Chapter Six

It took me almost a whole hour to eat the French toast that Carina had prepared but once we had done I helped wash up even with both Maya and Carina telling me not to worry. I was nervous to go shopping, I didn't want to feel like a burden to them or for them to regret buying me stuff. I don't need much but I will make it known that I appreciate everything.

"Ready to go bambina," Carina asked poking her head into the room as I was sat on my bed holding Mitsy. Tears were in my eyes and streamed down my cheeks as I was panicking about going shopping with my foster parents.

"Bambina, are you okay" Carina asked noticing that was trying so hard not to cry. God all I was doing was crying. How much more pathetic can I get. As I tried to stop crying I couldn't catch my breath and I couldn't calm myself down which caused me to panic more.

"Rose, can you tell me what's wrong? Can you talk to me?" Carina asked when I didn't talk.

"Can I take your hands?" Carina asked crouching down in front of me, I nodded, Carina was safe just like Maya, they are safe, unlike some foster parents I've had. Carina traced patterns on my hand drawing my attention away from my panicked state

"I'm sorry" I mumbled as Carina continued to trace patterns on my hands

"You don't have anything to apologise for. Do you think you can tell me what is going on in your mind?" Carina asked and I shrugged, it was stupid, I was stupid, right?

"I don't want you to get angry" I mumbled

"I won't be angry" Carina responded

"I don't want you or Maya to regret fostering me. When you realise how screwed up I really am. I've never opened up to someone like this before. I know I only met you guys less than a day ago but I feel safe here. I feel safe" I mumbled

"Bambina you are not screwed up," Carina said softly. I looked at her, I was now playing with her rings which were on her fingers. I was screwed up, I was fucked up.

"You know you both don't have to buy me things? I have clothes in my bag and I've got these shoes. I don't need anything else" I said looking back down and sighed.

"We want to bambina, we wouldn't be good foster parents if we don't spoil our new foster daughter," Carina said making me giggle, Carina reminded me of my foster mother from the family I liked.

"You remind me of my old foster Moms, they sent me back because she was pregnant," I said climbing from the bed where I dug out my framed photo to show Carina.

"You looked happy" she said and I nodded.

"I was a big sister to those little munchkins. I loved them, and I would have loved the baby too but my foster dad wasn't well" I remembered, I hadn't talked about this before with anyone really.

"You can have the picture out Bambina, if you want to. You don't have to have it hidden. Maya and I won't mind" Carina said and I nodded. I wanted that.

"I think I'm ready to go now" I said to Carina who smiled.

"If any time during our trip to the mall you few overwhelmed take my hand and squeeze it. If you feel comfortable doing that. Maya and I will understand we will take times out." Carina reassured me and I nodded, I debated with myself whether or not to ask if we can go to a shoe store, biting my lip I looked down.

"What you thinking of Bambina?" Carina asked and I looked at her curious to how she could see I was thinking.

"Could I maybe get some new running shoes?" I asked

"You can get whatever you want. Today is about you. Maya would be able to help you pick out some good running shoes." Carina said and I nodded but I didn't want some that were too expensive, I couldn't accept them if they were expensive.