My Shelter (Esaret)

Part 1

 Her steps felt heavy as she climbed up the stairs to their room. She insisted on sleeping in the room where she fell in love with him, where they fought and made up, where they planned their wedding, where he welcomed her back even with zero memories inside her head. And just when she regained her beautiful memories with him and remembered every breath they took together, the tumor squeezed itself in her crane, making her hide the truth from her husband. Her hand touched the door knob and turned to find Orhun staring at her. His eyes begged her to invite him in, to spend their last night together in the same room, to ditch sleep and go back and gaze at the stars. She smiled at him and said, "iyi geceler."

"Iyi geceler!" he whispered back and entered the adjacent room. He threw himself on the bed and thought of the little moments they shared tonight. Deep inside, he believed she remembered them. Not so much what she had said, but the way her body reacted whenever he got closer. However, why would she lie about her memory? Why would she insist on getting divorced? "It can't be!" he shook his head and thought of how beautiful she looked tonight.

In the other room, Hira stared at the white bridal nightgown that she never got to wear for Orhun. The silk ran through her fingers, effortlessly and swiftly just like her dreams. Everything that she held so close seemed to be running away from her. She remembered Halil Pasha's words, "the only way to stop these rumors, is by giving us a grandchild." Her sadness triggered her headache and she couldn't figure out what made her sadder; her inevitable death or the impossibility to grow a family with the man she loved the most in this world.

Through her tears, she rid herself of the towel and slipped her body into the bridal nightgown. She checked her reflection in the mirror and wondered if she was doing herself any favors. She wasn't. The heartache was unbearable when the full realization hit her. She was a groomless bride. All while her groom and the love of her life was only two steps away. She threw on the dentelle robe, grabbed his shirt from the humper and smelled it. His scent mingled with her tears and hugged his shirt tighter. She was startled when she heard his knock and his voice behind the door emerged, " Can I come in to grab my pajamas?"

She hurled the shirt to the humper and wiped her tears. She plastered a fake smile on her face and swallowed before she spoke: "Come in."

The moment he opened the door to the sight of her dressed as a bride for her wedding night, he completely froze. He had dreamed of this moment countlessly but his imagination had done nothing to reality but injustice. She stood there unaware of her captivating beauty. Her innocence has added regality to her looks and Orhun could no longer think straight. His fast and loud heartbeat startled the sense out of his head. He ambled toward her with unclear intentions. However, he knew there was no way else to go but towards her. She swallowed a lump of embarrassment. She got rid of the shirt, dried her tears but forgot to change her clothes. She wanted to hide, run away, evaporate, disappear but she froze. He was too close, closer than she wished for him to be. She fought herself and she fought hard, but the second his warm palm cupped her cheek, she wanted nothing else but to forget about her tumor, heartache, sadness and melt between his arms. She leaned against his palm and closed her eyes.

His breath fanned against her skin and his lips grazed hers as he spoke: "I'm not as strong as you think I might be." He ran his thumb across her lips, "you're my weakness, Hira Demirhanli." He took a deep breath before he continued, his breath felt hot against her cupid bow, "Your scent, breath, touch, existence bring me down to my knees," he said in a raspy deep voice, "I have no control over myself or what I'll do in the next five seconds, Hira." Her breath hitched and her body shivered. She closed her eyes, waiting.

He took a deep breath, "You've got three seconds to deny me." Still close to her lips, he counted: "One." His hands landed on her waist, "Two." he gently pulled her and glued her against him, allowing no air to separate them, and before he said three, Hira stood on her toes and kissed his lips. He growled. Yes, he growled when her soft lips touched him for the first time and he summoned every ounce of self control to tame his desire and urge. The libidinous Orhun who wanted to bury her beneath him and touch every inch of her body with his lips, marking her as he goes, was strongly present but Orhun had to tame him. His Hira is too shy and too fragile. He had to take her slowly and gently to prepare her for what to come. He felt her hesitation when her lips froze and decided to take the lead. He won't allow this chaste kiss to be their final destination. He ran his hand down her back and took her lips in his with care and passion that drew her to his soul like a magnet.