My Shelter (Esaret)

Part 2

"You remember everything." he stated. He felt her tense against him so he held her tighter. "I had doubts this whole evening. Your eyes were full of pain. You were bidding me goodbye as my Hira. My wife. My love." he sighed in pain. " I was in the presence of my Hira. My Hira whom I lost a year ago and not my Hira who came back from death. My Hira who knows Orhun inside out." He swallowed a lump of pain before he continued in his raspy deep voice, "My Hira, my compass, my path, my beginning and my end." He felt her tears against his skin, "Every time I looked into your eyes this evening, my doubts grew stronger but I kept reminding myself that Hira would never want to see me suffer. My Hira would run into my arms the moment she retrieved her first memory of us fighting for our love." He paused for a moment, "Then, we kissed. And though it was our first time, every part of me was sure I was kissing my Hira with all of her wonderful and miserable memories."

She sat up, pulled the duvet to her chest and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry to disappoint you. But, I don't remember us. I don't remember who we were."

"Did my mother ask you to leave again? To leave me?" He sat up, cupped her cheek and turned her to meet his eyes. And that was when she broke. Completely broke down.

"I'm dying!" She finally uttered. "I'm dying, Orhun." She broke down in deep sobs she could barely catch her breath. "Just when I retrieved my memory, I'm told I have a brain tumor and a few days to live." She was now facing the sight she dreaded the most. Vulnerability in its finest form. His eyes could barely hold his tears. She cupped his face in her warm hands and said, "Do you know how painful it is not to stare into your eyes and tell you 'I'm here. Your Hira is back'. Do you have any idea what it is like not to run into your arms and tell you that I know now why my heart beats so fast whenever I'm in your presence. Why all the ways lead to you even when I had no memory of who you were. Why when you were a mere stranger, you were and still are my sanctuary. My heart bleeds every time I realize that I won't look into your eyes and tell you .." she paused, looked deep in his eyes and realized that she could cross the last impossibility off of her list. And so she did.

"You are the meaning of my life. You are my everything. I love you, Orhun with all my being." and suddenly, she felt free. Death wasn't as scary. He knows now where she would be. She pulled his face and kissed him tenderly. His tears were set free and she allowed him to be weak for both of them. She placed butterfly kisses on every inch of his lips. "I want to spend the night against you, in your warmth and wrapped in your love." and he complied despite the hundred questions roaming his head. Tomorrow was yet to come and actions will be taken. As for now, he pulled her closer against his skin, inhaled her scent, and kissed the top of her head.

Next morning

She looked serene under the duvet with her wavy soft hair against the pillow. There was a smile on her face and he strained himself from reaching out to touch it. He's been watching since the first sunray of the day penetrated the window shutters. He felt privileged to be able to take on her every detail, uninterrupted. His ribcage tightened when he realized that he didn't have eternity to watch, admire, touch and make love to her. And that was why he didn't sleep the day before. Once she felt numb against him, he made calls, pulled strings, asked for favor returns and even begged. Anything to ensure that keeping her with him longer. He was fist-fighting the unbeatable. He was initiating a war against time and no one has come out victorious from their war against time. Her smile disappeared as if sensing his discomfort.

She opened her eyes, soaked in his view and with a peaceful smile said, "Günaydın." (Good morning).

"Günaydın, gelinim (my bride)." he returned her smile and reached for her palm to kiss. She blushed when her eyes fell on his topless body and instantly became aware of her own naked body under the duvet. She pulled the covers and held it tight. He smirked when he noticed her clumsiness and said, "After yesterday, your running days are over."