A Long Hard Fought Journey (Completed)

Chapter 6: The Second Close Call and Waking Up

When I woke I was even more exhausted which must mean that crying wore me out more than anything. I also noticed there was a lot of a really loud noise. I couldn't distinguish the noise until I realized what that noise was.I absolutely cannot die and I'm not ready to die ,yet. Alexis ran in a moment later.This cannot all be happening over ,again,I thought to myself,watching my lifeless body,standing next to it and grasping my lifeless hand.Alexis looked as if she hasn't slept in a week which she probably hasn't. A few doctors and nurses ran in crowding around me.They worked quickly not wasting a single second.Joseph had moved out of the way,he looks as if he hasn't had any sleep,either,which I don't think they have had much sleep if any at all so that must have explained why they looked so exhausted. They've been monitoring me 24/7 and with me that they haven't. Alexis and my medical team that had gathered,who had crowded around me into my tiny little ICU room,had pulled the life support breathing tube out of my mouth. Alexis had started CPR,which miraculously worked and kept me alive. One of my doctors had connected a oxygen mask. The main problem was trying to keep me breathing. Alexis very quickly slid its strap around the back of my head as her nursing friend took over compressions and the mask was over the lower half of my face. She squeezed my fingers and shouted,"pressures dropping quick,we need another bag of saline and call the blood bank,we need a bag of O-neg blood,and keep one unit ahead". Come on,Izzie,breathe for me,breathe,you can do it,come on,she whispered to me. I was trying but had no idea how to make my real body breathe. Whatever,I was doing must've been right because I saw my lifeless form take a few deep breaths and my chest rhythmically rise and fall.I was breathing on my own through my weakness.I still had a lot of weakness from my blood and fluid loss. The other doctors,put a new bag of fluid and blood on the stand and it instantly started flowing into my veins. She squeezed my fingers again and said to the medical team,"give her some space,her pressures back,she's stable,and holding on her own,breaths are coming normally now".They kept me on the oxygen but removed the life support machine. I was already in a room by myself in respiratory isolation. Just breathe,I told myself,breathe just breathe. Joseph followed Alexis out into the hallway. I know she just gave us a scare but her pressure is back,she is breathing on her own besides the assisted oxygen,she's stable but just weak,Alexis told him.I'm actually starting to believe that you're right,but that she isn't dead or brain dead but alive and fighting hard to come back to us and she's is definitely a miracle and a strong fighter,Alexis also said,she is weak and has lost a lot of fluid but she might just wake up and might just pull through but don't get your hopes up but definitely don't give up quite yet.If she lives and comes back to us,between you and me, we will have to monitor her very closely,she stated firmly to Joseph. I know and I hope we get to have that opportunity,he said. At least,I didn't bleed to death or die in his lap because that will be way worse,I thought to myself but I really missed talking to them. We were all so close even though I haven't known them for long. I think in an indirect way we are all each other's guardian angels.He went to the cafeteria and came back with something he could eat since he didn't want to leave me alone and he didn't even sleep not wanting me to be alone and that he was so worried he wouldn't sleep anyway and I'm glad for the company he gave me even though I was still unconscious so I was unable to speak to him at least where he could hear it. I fell back asleep,leaning against the wall,for some reason my ghost body seemed really tired,I cannot die and if that is what this means unless it means I will wake up soon but,I can't die,yet. I started to fade away as I slept.When I woke,again,it was from a nightmare.But wait,I could feel his hand holding my mostly unscathed hand next to his face,I could feel his tears.I realized I could see without a haziness I had when I wasn't in my body.I could feel my breathing and heart beating for the first time in days.I could hear the oxygen and the machines and feel my breath as it fogged when I breathed out. I moved my hand and fingers which felt heavy across my lower abdomen which was slightly sore. This was real and I blinked away the tears that were in my eyes. At least, my shoulder seemed to be better because my arm was no longer in a sling,just the cast on my wrist. Joseph,I moved my mouth but it came out as barely even a whisper.He heard the movement,I think.I realized it was dark outside and most likely around midnight with some of the machines switched over to power save mode.I tried to get his attention and so once again,I tried to move my hand up and down his cheek but it didn't work so well and I ended up,squeezing his hand through the soft cast because for some reason my hand wouldn't cooperate with me. It was probably the cast that is restraining my hand from moving a certain way.I was careful not to jostle the IV in my other arm,which was up by my elbow this time instead of my hand.It was giving me medications and other life sustaining things I needed to help keep me alive. He had felt the small,little,weak squeeze,though. He had looked up at me. Izzie,he said,it sounded as if he was asking a question but the hope in his voice was evident.I tried to speak but he interrupted me by saying,"no just save it,okay,you're okay,we're okay,you're alright,were alright.I held his hand and with my other hand,very carefully not disturbing the IV,and quickly moved the oxygen mask down to speak and said,"I'm back in right here in alive I'm okay but don't leave me for a second and don't let go of me,hold onto me". I then fixed the mask and once it was back in position,fell asleep grasping his hand as if it was the only thing keeping me alive which it was one of the things that was keeping me alive and giving me strength.