Embracing the Pain

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Meerab sat in the room with her gaze fixed on the expanse of the lawn outside the window

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Meerab sat in the room with her gaze fixed on the expanse of the lawn outside the window. Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions, each thought crashing into the next with relentless force. Tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked as she looked out, her heart heavy with the weight of her memories.

For the past two years, she had thought endlessly about her parents. That fateful night when she had left from the outside of her home, had been driven by one stark realization: returning to this place would mean subjecting her parents to the scrutiny and judgment of the members of the Khan Haveli once again. Anwar Khan and Maa Begum would force them to send Meerab back and they would have no other choice but to carry out their orders just like they did before.

It was a prospect she couldn't bear to inflict upon them, knowing it would strip away any semblance of control over her own life. The thought that had crashed her mind at that moment was that this very same door had been closed upon her and despite being a lawyer and having a strong impact in the society his father had turned his daughter away in the middle of the night and that broke her heart even more.

On top of that, seeing Haya and Murtasim together that night had stirred something deep with in her. Till that moment she had not realised how much she loved him. He had become the very purpose of her being. The mere thought of them together made her heart ache to such an extent that it became difficult for her to breathe the same air as her.

Every moment that she had spent away, her thoughts had inevitably drifted to three people: her mama, baba, and Murtasim. They were the pillars of her existence, the constants she clung to in the tumult of her circumstances.

But the time of her pregnancy had been the most arduous and harrowing period of all, a period marked by loneliness, fear, and despair. She feared bringing up her child alone. She feared the society questioning her child being legitimate or not?  Alone and facing unimaginable challenges, she had endured each day with a heavy heart and a determined spirit.

The weight of her responsibilities had pressed down on her shoulders, threatening to crush her spirit with each passing moment. But she had persevered, drawing strength from the love she held for her then unborn child and the hope for a better future.

As Meerab closed her eyes, a solitary tear trailed down her cheek, carrying with it the weight of harrowing moments from her pregnancy that crashed into her thoughts like waves against a rocky shore. A stifling stiffness gripped her chest, her hand instinctively rising to rub at the knots that tightened with every passing second. She took deep breaths, each inhalation a struggle against the memories that threatened to overwhelm her.

The mere recollection of her pregnancy made her want to scream, the agony and suffering she endured etched into her every fiber. Yet, amidst the anguish, her love for Meesam remained unquestionable. Despite this, she couldn't bear the thought of reliving those moments again all alone.

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