strange addiction

workplace

another day another me with nothing but my hate and paralyzing agony. the day starts and I'm in my bed. half asleep slowly move my head to see the time but yeah, it's late. I'm fucking late on the first day. if I don't run right now, I will just get fired.

so, this is how my day starts all running and trapping on the floor to get ready quickly just to get to the office on time even though I know I'm in no position to get there on time. but, trying my best to be on time. soon enough I left my house and reached the bus stand that was the last bus left and now I'm feeling so happy that I didn't miss it. because if I missed this last bus then I have to take a taxi to get to my workplace, and the taxi fare is too high in Bangalore.

soon I reached, as I entered the office the assistant greeted me with a forced smile and a bit awkward look with fearful eyes. I didn't meddle in his matter and didn't initiate to ask him what is it that he was afraid of, but I didn't mind him much. "Good morning mahi, you are late on your first day of office," he said. I just smile a bit, awkwardly. then he continued "Boss called you into his office "and I cut him off "Did he know that I I'm late". he just nodded and began to show me the root of the boss's cabin.

not feeling any pressure about what the boss would say, as we reached the cabin the PA knocked on the door, and a voice came from inside "Come on in" He went inside the cabin leaving me behind in that awkward silence. after a minute he came and told me to go inside, now I actually started feeling anxious.

when I was a little child I developed an anxiety disorder, (A group of mental illnesses that cause constant fear and worry. Characterized by sudden feelings of worry, fear, and restlessness.) that faded away with time back then, but I felt it again after some 4 years. it feels heavy inside of me, the feeling of troughing up, and can't figure out what to do.

with all these thoughts I opened the door and went in, Vikram Verma sitting on his chair, with a deep gaze he was looking at me making me feel more tensed and blank-headed. I couldn't bring myself to speak up in front of him, I was silent as if a snake had bitten me. "don't you think you need to say something to protect your job because you are late on your first day and yet standing here, making a ghost-like face." he said with some playful expressions on his face as if he is trying to mock me. when I didn't say a word for just 1 minute he stood up and came closer to me, an evil smirk was placed on his face, which made him more attractive. 

he came in front of me just some steps away, he bent a little forward his both hands were locked back. he is looking into my eyes straight without even blinking, feeling the tension I finally spoke up "Boss, I'm sorry it won't happen again." I said with a cracking voice. his smile got bigger, he is smiling ear to ear, and that fucking look was dangerous. 

" Fine if you say, don't be late again if you don't want your loss miss...... um what's your name again," he asked. his words are stabbing me like a sharp blade "Mahi" I said. his expression turned a bit more like a grim Reaper, "You have got an interesting name" After a few sec. silence he said "Leave." he said and turned back to sit in his comfy chair, I was still standing there like a statue. "didn't you hear me mahi" As he called me by my name I came back to my senses "Uh...yeah boss, have a great day." with that said I hurriedly leave the room with heavy breathing.

sitting on my desk, my one hand placed on my head, in deep thoughts nothing just thinking about what happened inside that room earlier that fucking made my mind blank, I'm feeling terrified. just wish that I wouldn't run into him again like this he is actually like a grim reaper, like he is here to take my soul away. like if I answer him once he'll slit my neck off in no time.

the lunch break happens, and people are running to the cafeteria. me sitting at my desk trying to solve some codes. a girl came to me hesitantly "Hey my name is Adhya." she said. I looked at her out of curiosity, and she continued "Um. Come on join us for lunchtime, I'm not forcing you to; if you feel comfortable then..." she said not knowing what was coming after. "Umm. is it really okay for me to join you," I asked questioning. she said yes and held my hand making me stand up. when we reached the cafeteria, her friends waved at her, and without even thinking twice, she went there dragging me along with her.

we set there with them, others were looking at me like I was an Alian. the guys were seeming a little dazed and the girls were looking somehow jealous. they were all chatting, and I was sitting there like a ghost. I also don't have any interest in their talk because I have a lot of things to worry about besides this gossip thing. the girl who took me here with her, her name is Adhaya. having a cute face with a cute personality, if thinking like that she might be useful in the future because she has a kind heart towards everyone.

thinking all this I stood up and was about to leave, Adhya held my hand. "Where are you going?" she asked "Nothing just wanting some fresh air," I said, making myself free from her and leaving outside the building. I called Kavya, and after 2 rings she picked up "Hello, are you okay mahi. why are you calling after this long" she said worried and at the same time angry at me. " Hey! you are a lawyer it doesn't mean you'll not let me speak" I said. She got mad and yelled at me.

 "What the fuck are you up to bitch! do you have money there should I send you some?"

"Hey, don't worry I got a place to live and a job, so, there is no need to worry."

"What? you are extraordinary. how can you find a job this soon."

"Maybe my luck is by my side. "

"Well, I have to go I'll visit you in a few days."

"Yeah, bye"

with that said I hung up the call and went to my desk again.  

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bye bye :