Dazai x Reader ONESHOTS

Unprofessional.

You stirred your coffee, sitting in the booth of the cafe under the Agency with Yosano, who was putting her hand to her temple because of a headache. You chuckled a bit.

"Hangover?" Yosano groaned, giving you the answer.

"Thank goodness breaks exist..." she said. You smiled and nodded in agreement.

When you joined the Agency, you and Yosano hit it off almost immediately. You shared interests, daily drama and gossip, and every once in a while some drinks. However, last night was one of those occasions where Yosano drank alone, for what reason, you didn't know. In fact, you concluded it was better not to ask questions.

"Well, let's hope you're still up for this weekend. We made plans to go bar hopping, y'know." Yosano nodded, moving her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose lightly while waving dismissively with her other hand. You sipped your coffee before resting your chin on your hand.

"You're right," Yosano replied tiredly. "Geez, I gotta stop drinking on weeknights...Don't worry, I'll be there. We agreed I'd go to your place at eight, right?"

"Yeah! I was thinking that first we could check out that new bar near my place. I heard-"

"Bar hopping, huh?"

The interruption caused you to quickly fall silent, startled. You looked over to see a familiar face. Dazai. He looked as though he just started his lunch break, walking toward a booth before stopping in his tracks when he overheard your conversation. Your heart skipped a beat.

"I expected that much from Yosano, but I never took you as the type to do something like that," he said, turning toward your table with his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. You felt your heart flutter a bit.

"Oh, yeah. We go every once in a while..." you replied, trying to sound confident. "We thought that since we finally defeated the Guild, we should celebrate."

"They're right. Nothing like a Friday night drink," Yosano said, joining in on the conversation.

"Interesting," Dazai said. "You were talking about the new bar at your place?"

"Mhm. I was thinking that would be our first stop, since it's close, and it's always good to try something new." You twirled your hair with your finger, tapping on the table.

"What a coincidence! I'm going too! We should meet up, have some drinks!" he recommended. You placed your hand flat on the table, hesitant to say anything. You opened your mouth, but words wouldn't leave it.

"That sounds like a great idea!" Yosano said. You darted your head toward her.

"Great! I'll see you two." Dazai walked toward an empty booth after waving with his left hand. You relaxed your brows and shoulders, looking through Yosano.

"What? Aren't you gonna thank me?"

"Thank you?" you questioned, finishing your coffee and pushing it aside. "What for?"

"I finally scored you a date with him. You should be grateful I'm willing to be third wheeling." You leaned back, crossing your arms, and scoffed.

"I do not like him like that!" you muttered defensively, trying to be quiet so Dazai wouldn't hear you, wherever he is. Yosano snorted, putting a hand to her mouth in a poor attempt to hide it.

"Then why is your face so red?" You widened your eyes, putting a hand lightly over your cheek. Hot. "You make it way too obvious. Come on, admit it! There's no shame in being interested." You straightened your posture, avoiding eye contact.

"That is...It's very unprofessional!" You twiddled your thumbs, voice almost inaudible. You huffed. "What do I do now..." You slouched in your seat. Yosano laughed.

"You make yourself memorable."

_____

     Your outfit was simple. A black cami with lace trim, black shorts, fishnets, and combat boots that were admittedly a bit worn out. You sighed looking in the mirror, with Yosano by your side smiling slyly. Your eye twitched in frustration with the doctor. You turned around for a better look at her.

She wore a red one shoulder tank top, a black pencil skirt that was a bit longer than fingertip length, and knee high boots that were heeled and matched her skirt. She still wore her butterfly hair clip, and she crossed her arms.

"Well? Ready to go?" she asked, her lipstick as red as her top. You stayed silent, rubbed your arm, feeling nothing but anxiety. Yosano furrowed her brows with a frown, and gently put a hand on your shoulder. "Why are you so afraid?"

"I'm not afraid!" you exclaimed. "I just...What if I make a fool of myself?"

"You won't. Trust me," she said with reassurance. You smiled, and with a deep breath, you grabbed your purse and went out the door. Yosano quickly followed with a proud smile on her face.

_____

     "So there I am, trying to see if this man is okay, and he slaps my hand away! Asking if I'm a receptionist, or a more 'specialized job', his words, not mine!" Yosano ranted. Your jaw dropped.

"He did not..."

"Oh yes he did! Goodness, it took everything in me not to rip one of his arms off!" She sipped her drink. "All because Atsushi tripped."

"What are you two talking about?"

One hand was placed on your and Yosano's shoulder, causing both of you to jump. Dazai laughed at your reactions before backing off, not taking a seat.

"Oh, nothing!" Yosano replied hastily. "Y'know, these drinks are pretty good!" she said, changing the topic instantly. "It's taking a lot out of me not to get five more glasses of this. Too bad we're going around town for the night, right?" Yosano practically forced you into the conversation.

"Mhm! It is good," you said. "But I think the one two blocks down is better." You bounced your leg anxiously.

"Hm..." Yosano said. "You're right about that. The bartenders are nicer and they have the strong stuff." You saw her smile, and got the feeling in your gut that she was going to sabotage you even more. "Say, I have to go to the restroom. I'll be back soon! Keep an eye on my drink, would you?" You widened your eyes.

"What-? Uhm, okay," you said, your tone slowly shifting to something more calm and collected. You tapped your nails on the table.

"Nothing wrong with keeping her seat warm, right?" Dazai said before sitting down. "Tell me, what's been happening lately?" You felt your posture tense.

"Nothing crazy, just normal jobs. Gotta say, it's been more tiring than usual."

"I can imagine. You gotta admit, that cruise was fun." You nodded, smiling. A few minutes passed with Dazai ranting about Atsushi and Kunikida, sometimes making you laugh because of his antics. "Y'know, you look amazing tonight," he said, completely shifting the topic of conversation, catching you off guard. It was like you were starting from square one, nervous to speak all over again.

"Thank you..."

Yosano hurried back, with an incredibly large smile on her face.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing important," you said. "Why were you gone for so long? Someone catch your eye?" you joked. Yosano rolled her eyes, before harshly grabbing you by the arm, yanking you out of your seat. You squealed.

"Hey-! We still have those drinks, y'know?!" you yelled. The woman still insisted, dragging you toward the exit. You looked at Dazai with a bit of worry, but instead of doing anything, he chuckled, waving goodbye. It wasn't long until you were outside of the bar entrance. "Okay, what was that?"

"I called Ranpo," she started. "Wanna hear something good?" You cocked a brow and nodded your head, still suspicious. "Okay, Ranpo admitted this took him a minute to figure out because it's about Dazai," she explained.

"He totally has a thing for you."