Dancing In The Moonlight

15. MILF

Ye Canny Shove Ya Granny is meant to be sung in the tune of She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain, just fyi. I cut it down a little bc its very repetitive :)

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"Caaaause ya canny shove ya granny off a bus, nah ya canny shove ya granny off a bus, nah ya canny shove ya granny, cause she's ya mammy's mammy, you canny shove ya granny off a bus."

What. The. Fuck.

"Ye can shove ya other granny off a bus."

"Push push."

"Ye can shove ya other granny off a bus."

"Push push."

"Ye can shove ya other granny, cause she's ya daddy's mammy, ye can shove ya other granny off a bus."

"Push push."

"Lo'ak, son," Jake said carefully. "What are you singing?"

"Mammy's lullaby," Lo'ak and Kiri chirped immediately.

His mate was awfully silent tending to the baby girl in her arms. When Jake glanced at her, she immediately looked down at Tuktirey.

"Mairi, sweetheart, have you been telling the kids they can push my mom off a bus?"

Mairi's face turned a deep shade of blue. "It was a lullaby my dad used to sing me," she muttered. "They caught me singing it to Tuk."

"In a Scottish accent?" Jake bit his lip to control his grin. They'd been together almost seven and a half years, and she was still finding ways to surprise him.

"Whey, it wouldn't be funny if you sung it normally." She lifted Tuk up and sat her so that the baby could see what was going on.

Lo'ak and Kiri locked eyes with each other, and immediately burst into song.

"We'll all go round to see her after school!"

"Hello granny!"

"She'll feed us mince and tatties when we go!"

"Yum yum!"

"Ma granny wears an awfy woolly vest!"

"Scratch scratch!"

The two kids paused for a split second, and then started yelling together.

"Naw ya canny shove ya granny off a bus! Ya canny shove ya granny off a bus!"

"Alright, alright!" Jake spoke over the top of them. "We get it, you can't shove your granny off a bus!"

"Say it properly, Dad," Lo'ak demanded. "You have to say it properly."

"No!" Jake spluttered.

"If you don't say it properly Dad, it means you don't respect Mam's heritage," Neteyam piped up from the corner. He was attempting to make his own spear after Mairi had shown him how to whittle.

Jake groaned. "C'mon, Neteyam, not you too."

"Say it!" Lo'ak demanded.

His youngest son began to chant, then Kiri joined in, and his wife and eldest looked at each other before both starting at the same time. Even little Tuk was waving her arms about and babbling. Jake looked at Mairi with pleading eyes, but she just raised her brows.

"Nawh, you can-ney shove yer granny off a bus."

The room went silent. Kiri folded her arms.

"You need to work on that," she nodded. "Your accent is terrible, Dad."