Can Poetry Heal? - Collections of a Wanderer

Dear Jigdrel

Dear Jigdrel:

Even without knowing your name, I somehow call you by this without realizing that there is a slim to no chance of your name being Jigdrel. But I like to romanticize and hype up things. Haha.
It's funny, yet so weird of me to write to you right after having a dream. I don't even know if you exist. But something in me tells me you are existant and real.
I am elated to have a 'dream' boy. It doesn't matter even if you are a made up, intangible thought, at least I have something to hold on to and believe.
You know, it was a funny dream. It was like we both had feelings for one another, but we were afraid to show it for some reasons. I don't know what the reasons were.
Even one of my friends was there.
I said to her that I would pull your hair because we were meeting after a long time (indeed a funny thing). I pretended to be angry when I was not. And then I saw you climb those stairs and I yelled, "Jigdrel!"

I really wish you exist, Jigdrel.

And then, you came towards me and we sat down on the ground.
I childishly said that maybe you should cut your hair, though you look smart with that not-so-long hair.
You ran your fingers through your hair and smiled so sweetly. That was when our eyes got locked and I saw your face well.
I never thought my mind could create something imaginary like you. A good looking soul.
It's a bizarre assumption but if you exist and somehow we cross paths, I will definitely recognize you. There's no way I would forget you. No way.
I hope I find my Jigdrel. Your Yuden is waiting here, in your heart. I hope you realize it.

January 2, 2021

/a cringy piece but who could have told this girl 3 years ago?