Let Me Explain

T W E N T Y E I G H T

"ARE you going to sit there and sulk like a child, or are you going to make amends with everybody?"

I sat on the white couch in the home office downstairs. My arms were crossed over my chest while I stared at the white walls filled with family portraits.

My dad was opposite from me. He wore a simple button down shirt with his dress pants. He was sitting in his office chair while he waited for me to talk to him.

My mom was standing up beside his chair. She had to leave for work pretty soon, but of course she would rather be late just to spend time insulting me.

It was some type of intervention that I wanted no part in. Every time something significant enough went down, it was always blamed on me.

I was always the one who needed help. I was always the one who made everyone uncomfortable and scared to be around.

I hated that.

But I was so used to it that I didn't care anymore. If you didn't want to be around me, or needed to make up a false narrative about me to stay away, keep it.

I didn't want to be around anyone anymore.

"I didn't know therapy used such derogatory terms."

Her blue eyes settled on me. "Watch it."

"I think you need to talk to us, Layla." My dad sat up straighter. "It's not like you to be so callous."

I chewed my lip and adverted my gaze. I didn't feel like answering, nor did I like his choice of words.

If anyone had been spiteful lately, it would've been my parents.

"You don't have anything to say?" My mom pressed her lips together, clearly growing more frustrated by me. "Do you not know how to open your mouth and speak?"

"I'm sorry for what I said." I finally apologized, wanting to get this all resolved. "It wasn't my intention to be so insolent to you."

"Good." My mom picked her car keys up off the desk. "I don't accept it."

She walked out of the office and left me alone with my dad.

I swear nothing about her made sense.

She thrived off embarrassing people. There was no purpose for her to sit there and make me apologize if she wasn't going to accept it.

I should've walked out a long time ago.

"Can you tell me the purpose of apologizing if she wasn't going to accept it anyways?" I stood up from the chair and pulled my backpack on.

"She does accept it," My dad reassured. "She's only trying to nettle you, so turn a blind eye to it."

"I have no more eyes to turn."

"Try not to say anything that'll ground you until senior year." He looked down at his watch that was on his left wrist. "Keep your tone reverential or don't say anything at all."

I walked out of the office and headed down the hallway to the front door. My mom wasn't inside the house anymore, leaving me to realize that she was either waiting in the car for me or she decided to leave me here.