Twenty Three: Self Pleasure Sessions

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Twenty Three: Self Pleasure Sessions

"Excuse me?"

"Have you ever killed anyone?" Atlas repeated. "Like, you know, murder or whatever."

"Are you sure you want to know the answer to that?" Emil questioned back. Gone was any trace of a smile on his face as he stared at the chef with the kind of intensity that almost made Atlas want to close the door and hide inside his apartment for the rest of the week.

"I..." Atlas trailed off. He didn't want to doubt himself. He had been avoiding getting to know more about Emil in the fear of disliking what he could potentially learn. But it was bound to happen sooner or later. "Yes. I'm sure."

"Can I come in?"

"No," Atlas replied without wasting a second, making Emil nod solemnly. Atlas frowned, gripping the frame of the door as he continued. "Does that bother you? That I don't let you in my house?"

"No," Emil shook his head. "I get it. I understand that I invaded your privacy the first time we met by breaking into your home. So it makes sense why you're drawing this boundary to regain a sense of control. I respect that. It doesn't bother me, but I hope someday I can earn your trust."

"Uh..." Atlas blinked. "Did you just psychoanalyze me?"

"I've been taking college classes online."

"Really? What are you majoring in?" Atlas asked, before groaning. "No. Ignore that for now. You still haven't answered my previous question."

"Have I ever killed anyone?"

"Yes. Have you?"

Atlas didn't like the way Emil was taking his time. It was a really simple yes or no question, and with each passing second his heart rate was growing faster and faster. He was afraid he'd have cardiac arrest if Emil kept him hanging any longer.

"No. Not really, I guess," Emil muttered.

"Not really...you guess!?" Atlas exclaimed. "What is that even supposed to mean? You have either killed someone, or you haven't! What exactly are you guessing here!?"

"Uh," Emil scratched the back of his neck as he shrugged. "I haven't killed anyone, but remember that shoot-out I was telling you about? Back when I was cop? I did hit someone, but he survived, thankfully. So...yeah."

"Oh."

So he shot someone in the line of duty. Atlas didn't know how he felt about that, but the bottom line was that Emil had never killed anyone. Atlas breathed out in relief at the information. It was a line he wasn't willing to cross under any circumstance, no matter who the person in front of him was. So he was glad—

Glad!? Atlas's eyes widened. No! He shouldn't be glad! This meant that he had less of a reason to separate himself from Emil which was what he wanted to do in the first place!

Yep. I'm fucked.

"Ready to go now?" Emil asked.

"Sure."

~~~

"Business, by the way," Emil spoke once they were in the car and on their way to his place.

"Huh?"

"You asked what I was majoring in," Emil elaborated. "Business studies. Though I'm taking some random classes I find interesting too. Like psychology and this one paper on mythology."

"Oh. I see," Atlas hummed. "That's cool. When do you even find the time?"

"What do you think I do in Shawn's office when I'm not bothering you in the kitchen?" Emil glanced at Atlas with a teasing smile.

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