"I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May / one phone call from you and my entire world was changed / Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers / took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers / And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did / but I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it / My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge / and I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough
And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream / How could anybody do the things you did so easily? / And I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine / but you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried / for so long / It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong
The arguments that I have won against you in my head / in the shower, in the car, and in the mirror before bed / yeah, I'm so tough when I'm alone / and I make you feel so guilty / and I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry / And I try to understand why you would do this all to me / You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy / And I know in my heart, hurt people hurt people / and we both drew blood, but man those cuts were never equal
And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream / How could anybody do the things you did so easily? / And I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine / but you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried / for so long / It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong
Do you think I deserved it all? / Your flower's filled with vitriol / You built me up to watch me fall / You have everything and you still want more
I try to be tough, I try to be mean / but even after all this, you're still everything to me / And I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine / but you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried / for so long / It takes strength to forgive but / I'm not quite sure I'm there yet / It takes strength to forgive but..."
- "the grudge" by Olivia Rodrigo
I relate this song so heavily with my mom and the shit she's done to me; it hits so close to home every single time I hear it.
YOU ARE READING
aly's playlist - the songs of my life
Randomto help process my emotions, i like to write out the lyrics of my favorite songs/songs that apply to my current situation, whatever that may be. this book acts as a place to put all of those lyrics, simply so i can look back on them when i need to...
