Resurgence
As I lay here unable to sleep next to my beautiful wife it's amazing to realize how fast time has passed. The first and last entry until today was just about a year ago. So much has happened. Tonight I find it difficult to go to sleep. My mortality has been the main subject of my thoughts for a while now. Most days I feel like a passenger living the life through the eyes of somebody I don't know. I feel unaccomplished, useless and without purpose.
I know deep down these feelings aren't true. I have family that loves me, a great job, and my faith keeps me grounded in a sense of purpose. But I'm human. And it's a human tendency to feel this way from time to time. Like you don't belong.
I miss Florida, most of my good friends are there. Where I am currently it's just my wife and I. I feel so lonely here. It's so hard to make new friends and connect with new people. We often find ourselves wearing ourselves out socially; trying to find company. We thrive on connections. Connections unfortunately we don't have here.
I do pray though that this changes but until then we will keep trying to maintain a positive attitude.
On another note my wife starts college this month. I'm so proud of her. She's also begun exercising and eating better. I know this is hard for her. And I know it can feel insurmountable to her sometimes but she's pushing through. Her example is making me realize how much I've lost my self discipline. I'm encouraged to work out and do better.
I also begin college this summer. I will be pursuing my Bachelor's in Cyber Security. Hopefully this will help me advance further in my career. I would like to provide generational wealth for my children so that they can have the opportunities I didn't not have growing up.
The political scene of the world has changed so much as well. So many things are happening. And the collective mind and spirit of the word just seems to degrade every day. Toxicity festering from one corner of the Earth to the other. The few that mean well drowned out by the enshrouding cloud of greed, debauchery and a loveless world.
In my own little bubble on this earthly plane I endeavor to bring a smile to people's faces every day. You never know when your light helps someone else shine to get through their own trials and tribulations.
As a final thought, not a day goes by that I don't think about my unborn child. I miss you. I always will. You would've been going on 3. A piece of my heart died with you that day. I won't ever be whole again until I'm reunited with you. I love you.
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The Daily Record
कथेतर साहित्यA daily journal through my unique perspective as I travel through the waves of life. Join me.
