Lettie

Chapter 26

Jackson-Present day

She's magnificent. I thought to myself while any air I tried to breath in sent a shooting pain all throughout my body. She didn't even think twice before fucking my shit up. If I could smile right now, I would.

"Insufferable fucking men." I heard her mumble to herself as she now had her back turned towards me as if I was nothing more than a fly buzzing around her with my sole purpose to irritate her.

I tried my best to smile but the only thing my body could focus on right now was attempting to get air into my lungs.

"You better get it together Jackson, you wouldn't want your fiancé to see you on your knees for someone else... as someone whose seen it firsthand, it can pack a real...punch." She turned around to smile at me, the bitterness creeping in around the edges.

My voice still wasn't working properly so I attempted what I could now that I had myself in an upright position.

"Lettie...my office...straight."

She huffed and puffed, and I was shocked she didn't stomp her foot to get her way. Cute.

She didn't wait for me to see if I was behind her at all, just stomped off in the direction of my office down the hall. It took me a few minutes to collect myself before I could make my way down to meet her, when I opened the door, Lettie stood facing the windows as if cataloging everything that was happening outside just to avoid looking at me.

"I have to say, I like this office more than your previous one." I flinched at the constant reminder of five years ago, not that I didn't deserve it, I just hated to be reminded of it.

"Lettie..." I whispered.

"Listen Jackson, let's just air it all out so we can finish this week without me killing you, hm?" She shrugged, and I had to hold in my shock. I took the time to really look at her, she was cold, detached, she had an unruliness about her that almost caused me to shake. She was a far cry from the soft-spoken, easy-going Lettie I knew.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry" she repeated back to me with no emotion in her tone, "Sorry." She repeated.

"And what exactly are you sorry for Jackson? Fucking her then, or fucking her now? I guess I should be relieved that you are engaged to the girl you cheated on me with, at least I know it wasn't for nothing."

"Olivia means nothing to me Lettie. And I'm not fucking her now."

She reared back to look at me, disbelief shrouded in her features, "Your ring on her hand would suggest otherwise, not that it's any of my business, it was a six-month relationship five years ago. Are you a piece of shit for the way things went down? Absolutely. But I got over it a long time ago Jackson, and apparently, so did you."

"That's a load of bullshit Lettie and you know it, we were, no are more than a six-month relationship five years ago, and you know it."

"I thought I knew a lot of things Jacks, turns out I was just a naive girl who knew absolutely nothing." Hearing her use my nickname with her voice laced in disdain just about killed me, I let myself float in the memories of her for a moment.

Lettie and her unruly golden hair on a Sunday morning.

Lettie hating coffee, Lettie running her hands down my chest murmuring her appreciation.

Lettie laughing, as she chased after the damn birds in the park.

"Why do you hate pigeons Jacks?"

"They are nuisances, begging for food."

"You know it's our fault, right? We took a wild feral bird and tried to domestic them, the second they were of no use to us we set them free and just expected them to be able to find their way."

That was the Lettie I knew.

"Do you still feed pigeons Lettie?" I asked, clearly shocking her with my question.

"Wh..what? Pigeons? Yes, of course I do." She rolled her eyes at me.

I smirked, she might be cased in ice, and I was under no illusion that it wasn't my fault, but she was still in there, and my heart still screamed that she was mine.

"You might hate me Lettie, and you have every reason too. I was a damn idiot five years ago; I met you at a time in my life when everything was changing. I was a boy who was becoming a man, and I made mistakes, so many mistakes. I found the love of my life when I didn't even know who I was, and that messed with my head. Was it right? No. Is it forgivable? Also. No. I wish I could stand here before you and say that I was drunk, or under the influence of drugs, or being forced but that would be a lie, and whether you believe me or not I refuse to lie to you ever again. I was young and I didn't know what I had when I had it. I took it and you for granted, I have spent every day the last five years scouring every possible avenue, every lead, just so I could say try and fix what I broke but you vanished... it was like you were..."

"A ghost?" She finished for me instead.