Game of survival

Part 112: The Proposal

(POV Nat)

It hurt to see him like this stumbling towards us with his head lowered

The situation replays in my head once again and my stomach twists into knots, I think everyone feels responsible and that's why no one is speaking and haven't since it happened

Hand in hand they walk towards us but Quinn doesn't even look like he's there

No one says a word and we're surrounded by deafening silence like before

Quinn lifts his head to look at all of us before letting more tears roll down his face

Dan squeezes his hand but ultimately turns his head away almost to hide his own tears

We all stand around and it's as if we pass it  on to one another because everyone sets off when they notice Quinn

'I....just want to say that..I'm so s-sorry" Quinn says with his voice fading in and out

'Quinn" Dan says clutching his arm

'This....is all my fault"

'What are you saying?....Q you weren't even there" Dan exclaims

"EXACTLY...Dan I wasn't there....i wasn't there for any of you when you were wandering around alone....i wasn't there when we lost Issac and Jackson....i wasn't there when Jonah was struggling.....and I wasn't there when Ben..." he closes his eyes unable to finish his sentence

'Quinn..." I start

'You guys look to me when things go wrong and I'm supposed to know what to do....but I've lead you astray every single time"

'You're not responsible for us Quinn...we are all responsible for our own lives, you feel like you need to protect us all of the time when you don't..." I say

'But I made a promise-"

'Fuck the promise...." I say causing everyone to look at me

'We don't need anyone to take charge and lead us...I know that's what you felt you should do because some of us are weaker than others but I'm telling you now that everyone here is just as strong as each other...we don't need to rely on someone to protect us" I continue

'I know that losing people along the way had set us back too many times but they should be our reason to keep going....blaming ourselves or each other isn't going to bring them back....Ben knew he wasn't going to make it through so he chose to stay behind to protect everyone else I saw it myself"

'I still should've went back to help him" Ni-ki blurts out

'Then you wouldn't be with us right now either Ni-ki...this wasn't your fault" Dan says

'I'm...sorry Quinn" he mutters quietly

Quinn still stays silent and Ni-ki gets up to leave

'Ni-ki wait" he calls after him but he keeps walking

Quinn goes after him pulling him back by the arm

'Don't be sorry...you did nothing wrong"

'I should've been the one left there not him"

'Why would you say that?"

'I know what you all think of me....he has a life to go back to once this is over...but what do I have?...his life is worth living he never did a thing wrong or stepped out of line...cared for everyone, protected everyone-"

'Ni-ki...calm down okay"

'No...because I know you all wish he had made it over me and don't worry I wish it was that way too but there's nothing i can do to fix that now" he cries