BROKEN HOPE (Broken Redemption Book 2)

Chapter 35

Lucas

After walking Ben out, Nero and I stop in the control room to check in with the guys. James, Zeb, and I have gotten quite close over the past several weeks, and it will be weird not having both of them around when Pastor David comes to stay with us. While I know freeing them up to get back to work is the right decision, I can't ignore the small flicker of apprehension at the base of my gut.

I meant what I said to Ben. I'm confident in our security as well as the skills Pastor David, Nero and I bring to the table. I know with absolute certainty we can protect them, but as usual, I can't shake the fear and self-doubt that took root after my last mission in Afghanistan. Just the fact that it exists within me ups our risk of failure because, as Keegs used to say, emotions like fear and doubt make you second guess. They make you hesitate. They make you dead.

"Where's James?" I ask Zeb, as I take the empty chair next to him. Staring up at the screens, I get my answer before he has a chance to respond.

"He's in the yard with Annelly and the girls," he points to the screen with footage from the backyard cameras. "Look at that smitten fool," Zeb laughs. "He watches her like she's the most amazing creature he's ever seen."

I chuckle and lean forward to get a closer look. Sure enough, while Annelly is laughing and smiling as she talks to the girls, James looks on with awe, like he can't take his eyes off of her.

"Look at the expression on his face?" Zeb continues cackling as we both watch our unsuspecting friend.

"It explains a lot. The night Embree's parents came for dinner, he asked if Annelly would be here."

"He's obsessed with her, though he'll never admit it. You should see him when she's out there with Emilia, helping with the girls. The idiot follows her from screen to screen like a stalker. I'd be concerned if not for the fact he'd never let himself go there."

"What is there to be concerned about? So what if he likes her?"

"Uh... you have met James before, right? He's a man whore. The only guy I know who can leave a woman both satisfied and grateful to have been used and then discarded by Adonis himself. Annelly is barely 21 years old. James would destroy that poor girl and he's smart enough to not let himself go there."

"Take it from me." I rise to a stand. "Women like Annelly are the cure for men like James. If I were a betting man, my money would be on her being the one who destroys him." Pushing my chair back in, I ask, "Mind if I leave Nero here? I need to talk to Embree."

"No problem. Hey," he turns to look at me just as I reach the door. "I've been meaning to ask. Is she okay? She's seemed a little down the past few days."

At his question, the fear that's been slowly constricting my chest coils a little tighter. That Zeb has noticed is confirmation I have every reason to be concerned.

"Yeah. With the stress of the past few weeks, she's been a bit under the weather," I reply, careful to mask how unsettled I am.

Leaving the control room, I search for her. After my conversation with Ben and Zeb, I need to see her, to touch her, and feel her warm skin under my fingers. I'm desperate to put my arms around her and hold her tight against my body so she never slips away from me. Because if I'm honest with myself, this fear in my gut isn't about her illness; it's about the feeling she's pulling away. Erecting walls and boundaries around herself to keep me away from the noise inside her head. Whatever is wrong, she doesn't trust me enough to let me in, which leaves me wondering if she's having doubts about us.

When I find her in the girls' room, I lean on the doorframe, watching as she smooths out the duvet over Alyssa's bed. It's impossible to miss how tired she looks. Since the night of the confrontation with her mother and Harold, she's hardly slept. If I'd known this was the effect their presence would have on her, I never would have invited them to clear the air.