Crushed

0.33

///☆ : v long part bcs i missed burger monster and his gf (fake) sdgajjd joke!!!

timestamps : still the same day as 0.30 and so awn until here.

(music : blue salvia by pryvt). thank u as always for waiting!

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IN THE END, nag-decide kami na puntahan na lang ang friends ni Rad after naming dumaan kina Bonnie. Nag-pack ako ng barbecue though Rad clearly doesn't want me to dahil may pagkain naman daw doon. Sinabi ko lang na it's embarrassing to come empty handed.

Sinabi pa niya kila Eryn na babalik daw kami. And I could't figure out paano pa namin gagawin 'yon. And Eryn assured us that they won't mind it if we spend the evening dating.

"Fie, you don't have to." Rad cleared his throat, and that made me notice how his ears are fuming.E, sinabi ko lang naman na I can meet his friends if he wants to, para maniwala sila na hindi niya sila purposely dinitch. I can offer an explanation na nag-usap lang naman kami, which is totoo naman. Kanina pa kasi nagv-vibrate ang phone niya, and kahit na sinabi niyang sasamahan niya ako mag-barbecue kasama sina Eryn as his form of apology and no matter how he tried to put his phone on silent mode, kanina pa 'yun umiilaw sa notifications.

"Come on. Mag-barbecue na lang tayo kila Eryn." I can't pinpoint if it's because I'm used to his reservedness that's why hindi ako usually nag-o-overthink over these things, pero nagulat ako when his hands softly brushed against mine.

My god.

It's not like first time kong makipag-holding hands. This is not even romantically, hinihigit niya lang ako paalis to where we're standing. This is not a something I should linger on. 'Di ba?!

Oh.

OH.

Namula 'yung pisngi ko nang may ma-realize ako.

"Ah . . . they don't know about us? I mean I'm sure hindi 'yung set-up natin because I trust you. Pero . . you know? Single ka pa rin for them 'di ba? Kasi we agreed naman na sa friends at kakilala ko lang naman ang may alam na we're dating."

Mas lalong namula si Rad. Gumawa ako ng reminder sa isip ko na i-filter 'yung mga sasabihin ko sa kaniya. He's just too much of a baby even if his physique undeniably contradicts it.

"They know. My twin couldn't just shut it. So .. that's that."

"Oh." was all I could say.

Is that it? kaya ayaw niyang i-meet ko 'yung friends niya because it's something . . . . embarrassing?

Kasi I would understand it naman, kasi this set up technically popped out of nowhere. We were not properly introduced with each other. I may know things about him but that's mostly because I picked them up. Hindi dahil sa tagal naming magkasama. And it's not as if we're talking that deep na.

For me, he's close to what my type is. But for him? hindi ako sure. Who would pick me as their type even?

So, I would understand kung ayaw niyang lagpasan ko 'yung line between what we're faking and his reality. Our reality. Kaya ang weird and unbelievable kung sasabihin naming we're dating. It's too unbelievable coming from his side. Babawiin ko na sana 'yung sinabi ko but he replied, cutting my thoughts off.

"They. . ." his other unoccupied hand crawled to the back of his head, "They wanted to meet you. But you don't have to. Sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you."

His hands that are on my hands started to feel cold against mine. Kinakabahan siya just like what I'm thinking. Maybe it's because I'm too busy making sure na properly sealed 'yung barbecue para hindi tumapon kaya hind ko namalayan, but my cheeks heated up profusely upon realizing that Rad's hands are still clasped against mine. At humihigpit pa 'yun.