Before the Now [LANDO NORRIS]

40.

ABIGAIL

"You know the drill by now" Doctor Luthum lightens as we enter the radiology room, gesturing toward the CT scan bed.

I nod my head frustrated. "I'm getting damn near sick of this place" I groan, setting myself down on the edge of the bed before swinging my feet up and laying down.

Doctor Luthum stands beside the bed, placing a comforting hand on my shin. "I can understand that, Miss Newman. But you're further down the road to recovery than you ever have been"

I roll my eyes, placing my palms down either side of my body on the bed.

Whilst inside the machine, I try and think of anything else, feeling awfully like my life at the moment is just on repeat and like every time I get close to Lando, something terrible happens and the universe forces us to be apart.

Lando.

He was walking. He walked into that room and I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought for sure my brain was playing some awful trick on me and this wasn't happening. Dramatically, life wasn't serving Lando and I any positive news lately.

But he was walking.

He did it.

He did it all on his own and managed to keep going, regardless of what was happening to me, and that's all I could have asked for.

Not only that, he loved me.

Hearing him say that he loved me and being able to say it back felt like it lifted this huge weight between us and brought a sense of peace to the situation.

Remembering everything that has happened in the past few hours, it was becoming more difficult to feel like the world was against us. I had to remember the good. I had to keep forcing myself to go back to that place. To remember the good things.

"Okay, we're all done" Doctor Luthum's voice comes through the room speakers.

The bed begins to move back from underneath the machine and I sit up slowly, flattening the back of my hair, my hands skimming over the tops of the bandages.

"Everything looks really good" Doctor Luthum announces as he walks through the door, tucking his clip board underneath his arm. "There are no signs of any damage or remaining rebel tumours."

I nod my head, "you did a fine job then Doctor Luthum" I tease.

"Well, I'd like to think of myself as one of the best in the state, but you know, no modesty here" he mocks, "plus, we can't forget Doctor Kahn either, he'll be really pissed if we leave him off this recovery road"

I breathe out a laugh.

"Why don't you look pleased with this news?" Doctor Luthum asks.

I shrug, "I just know I'm not out of the woods yet"

I hear a breath leave Doctor Luthum as he sets himself down on the end of the bed. "I understand you're scared, but we've done all the necessary checks and there is no indication that you're going to lose your sight"

"I can see the black dots, and very rarely is anything in good focus." I mumble, defeated.

He places a comforting hand on my back, "I understand, and we're going to keep a very close observation on you over the next few days. But you also need to remember you just underwent some major brain surgery, and those tumours weren't really playing nice in their placement either. Medically, we're going to do everything possible to ensure that it does not happen. But if you give up on us now, and that fight in you fades out, you're not helping us. I need you to remain confident and positive."

I nod, as I understand what he means, this isn't the first time we've had this conversation. But it doesn't stop the fact that we're talking about the most unpredictable part of the human body.

"If I can give you any advice at all, it would be to tell Lando"

My eyes dart up to meet him, "Yeah" I breath. "I know. I just continue to disappoint him. He literally walks into my room and I'm about to tell him I'm going blind. I just want to give him good news"

"He got the best news of his life when he found out that you were awake. And then again when he was able to walk again. Lando is a lot stronger than you think, he can handle these things. He doesn't need your protection"

I nod, "I guess so."

"I not saying you're not strong enough to deal with this either. All I'm saying is you deserve not too handle it alone"

As I'm wheeled through the halls on my way back to my room, I try and urge up the courage to tell Lando as soon as I'm back.

He's seated on the bed, flicking through his phone when I enter the room, laughing at whatever is on the screen and the thoughts of telling him disappear instantly.

"Hey you" he chirps as he sees us come through the door. "How did it all go?"

"Amazing" I gush.

"I'm very pleased with everything I saw. There are no signs of any kind of damage or tumours. A few little lesions, but nothing to be concerned about." Doctor Luthum adds.

"That's so good." Lando laughs, swinging his legs off the bed and coming to a standing position. "What?" He chuckles.

I realise I'm staring at him as if he were a ghost, "oh nothing, I just don't think I'll ever get used to seeing that"

"Yeah" Lando chuckles, "there's no chance of me doing an Irish jig anytime soon, but it feels good to be up again"

"I'll leave you two to it" Doctor Luthum announces, placing my wheelchair into the brake position.

"Here let me help" Lando offers, shuffling over to my chair and offering me his hand.

"Thanks" I appreciate, letting him guide me over to the bed before we settle him and I tuck myself under his arm.

"Gosh, who would have thought we'd ever get here?" He gushes.

I snuggle in a little tighter, not knowing what to say back to him.

Lando places a kiss on the top of my head, "our life is just about to start, baby. And I cannot wait to put all of this behind us."

My heart sinks.