At the Bottom of the Bay

Chapter Twenty

Kelsey was gone when she woke up the next morning.

Sofia was not pleased. She gave up trying to fall back asleep and agreed to work the early shift for once, which meant her day was spent scrubbing baseboards and dusting light fixtures. Not the kind of work that distracted a rattled mind. At the end of her shift, Miriam offered her a frosty glass of beer.

Sofia raised a brow at it, hopping onto her stool. "I thought you didn't want me to drink?"

"I don't." Miriam shrugged. "You seem like you need this."

The last thing Sofia needed was an ice-cold anything, but she didn't say that. "Do you really think this is better than having Kelsey around?"

Miriam thought about her answer to that for a long time. "Yes," she said at last. "Yes, I do."

Patrons started arriving, and Sofia waited until Miriam was distracted to pour out the beer. She pulled on her denim jacket, and slipped outside, marching out into the cold. The bay slapped the shore in choppy waves, pearly grey as the sun lowered in the sky. The air hung quiet but for the rhythmic whoosh of the surf on the sand. Even with several layers, Sofia had to hug herself tight to shuffle through the thick haze of cold; it felt tangible, solid, obstructive.

She made her way down the boardwalk, her intentions not clear even to herself. She couldn't confront Kelsey at her home, couldn't get her in trouble with her parents. She could already be in trouble, that could be the very reason she was hardly around anymore. But if that was the case, she could just tell Sofia that; Sofia wasn't so unreasonable she wouldn't understand.

Just the thought of it, however, the idea that Kelsey's parents were causing trouble for her... it made Sofia dizzy with anger. So maybe Kelsey was right not to tell her.

She could have and probably should have asked Kelsey to live with her already. That would simplify everything. But that also felt like defeat, accepting that this was her fucked up life and there was no way out of it. She could be dependent on Kelsey and broken without her, and still not want any of that. She had to hold on to some kind of denial.

"Sofia?"

That voice, that fucking voice, shrill with surprise, and yet honey coated and slick in Sofia's ears. She turned around and spotted Kelsey standing at the end of the dock, one hand up to shade her eyes from the low hanging sun. Sofia shoved her hands in her pockets and stalked over to her.

Kelsey didn't halve the distance, just stood patiently waiting. Sofia's sneakers were loud on the rotting wood of the dock, and she stopped three feet away.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, voice gruff.

"Enjoying the sunset." Kelsey smiled, and it seemed almost painfully sweet, too genuine for this moment.

But that was all it took, really, to crumple Sofia's defenses. She took a step closer, hand trembling with the effort to do no more than touch Kelsey's crooked glasses. "Right," she choked.

Kelsey stood utterly still, entranced, perhaps, by Sofia's proximity. "What are you doing out here?" she eventually whispered.

Sofia sighed, allowing her fingertips to caress Kelsey's cheekbone. "You left. I woke up and you were gone."

Kelsey's eyes narrowed, then darted down the beach. "You were going to my house?"

Sofia dropped her hand. "Uh, yeah. I guess." She shrugged, feeling self-conscious for no reason she could think of, and that just made her angry. "I was just looking for you."