Nick and Charlie-one shots

"Charlie come here. Charlie. CHARLIE."⛔️

Tw-self harm, scars, depression.

Charlie's pov:

It's been such an awful day, my head has been spiraling. Saturdays are usually the days I get to hang out with Nick, but I am just so mentally overwhelmed I don't really want to. I just want to rot in my bed.

I relapsed. I haven't told Nick. But I relapsed yesterday. He has been blowing up my phone, because I haven't texted him since Wednesday. And I wasn't at school since Tuesday. I told my mom I had a cold so she let me stay home. My thoughts kept getting interrupted by the constant messaging of Nick. I picked up my phone

Nick💕

"Charlie I'm getting worried."

"Why haven't you answered me?"

"Char?"

"Did I do something?"

Oh god, I made Nick think I was mad at him. I'm such an idiot, I picked up my phone and replied to his last message "no." Hoping he would believe it wasn't him. I felt so guilty, he's so kind, I don't deserve him, I'd be better off dead. He deserves more, I need to feel something other than these feelings.

So I go to my bathroom, and pick up the razor blade. I make sure to bring the bandaids and my loose long sleeved hoodie. I'm shaking. I always shake when doing this, but I try to ignore it and focus on the reason I'm in the bathroom.

I take the blade and press it against my skin, sliding it, the stinging feels so good but so bad. I go a bit deep, to really feel it against my wrist. I whimper at the feeling of the stinging.

This hurts so so bad. But I deserve this pain, I deserve all of it. I wipe the blood going down my wrist to my hand and place the bandaids on.

I put on my hoodie and go back to my room in my original positions. Face up. Stinging arms by my side.

Nick is still texting me, I grab my phone and I ignore nicks message and began to go on Spotify. I grab my AirPods and put them both on. I press play on the song "tired" by beabadoobee. After 40 minutes, I see a message from Nick that surprises me. "Tori opened the front door. Uh but your bedroom door is locked. Open it please." I hear a knock on my bedroom door , and I take off my AirPods. I have to pretend to be happy I have to pretend to have no problems in the world.

I get up and open the door to see my super beautiful nice smart boyfriend. He has a huge smile on his face and chocolate in his hand.

"Hi!"

"Hi." I say with a fake smile. I am happy to see him but I'm just so overwhelmed. I go to hug him, and I take the chocolates away from him. It's sweet but I know I'll be throwing them out. So there's no point of opening them right now.

He comes in my room and sits on bed, I sit next to him, feet dangling from the bed. I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Why haven't you texted me back?? I was getting worried Charlie." He says while playing with my hair. I look him in the eyes, he does seem worried. But I don't want to tell him how I feel.

"I had the flu, I wasn't feeling well."

"You could've still texted me." He says with an unamused look on his face. He knows I'm lying but I think he senses I don't want to talk about it.

He grabs me by my wrists, squeezing them and rubbing them. Shit. They hurt so so bad. "I missed you so much Charlie," he kisses me on the cheek.

I feel them bleeding again, I just hope the bandaids keep the blood from not staining my hoodie. I whimper by his touch.

"Charlie? What's wrong?"

He rubs them even more, not knowing I cut myself there just a while ago. "STOP" I scream, I don't mean to, but it just hurts so bad. I pull my arms away and he starts to tear up. He looks confused. He was just trying to help and now I ruined it. He probably hates me. I stand up and start walking to go to the bathroom when he says,

"Charlie come here." I stop but continue to walk. "Charlie. CHARLIE." He gets up and grabs my arm. I start crying at his touch. He knows, he knows. He's trying not to cry, he pulls my sleeves up slowly.

His face turns to horror. My cuts are bleeding once again, they've leaked through the bandaids to my hoodie staining it. "Oh god Charlie." He says with a soft voice. I fall to the floor putting my back to the closed door of my bedroom. He falls down with me and pulls me into a hug.

"I-I'm sorry.. I tried to stop nick- I really did." I say while sobbing into his shoulder. "I know you did Charlie. You have to let me help you." Nick starts to cry with me, I hate seeing him like this. I pull him into a soft passionate kiss. "Im sorry I made you cry." I say while I rub his cheek. Our foreheads are touching each-others, he looks at me and smiles slightly.

"Don't apologize Charlie spring. We banned the s word." I smile slightly.

"I've been feeling worse, my depression hasn't gotten better."

"I'm here for you Charlie, you just need to trust me. I will never leave you."

"I love you." He says while giving me a kiss on my head. I whisper into his ear "I love you more."

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Eeeee so sorry if I made y'all cry, I honestly teared up re reading this. I'm really excited for the heartstopper s3 but i just know I'm gonna be sobbing😭😭

If you are self harming, or thinking about self harm, please tell a trusted adult. You deserve help and all the love you can get. Call the nearest helpline. Life is better with you here.

1030 words.